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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
San Diego
I can't do this. I can't do the coast in winter. Hell, I can't even do it now. I'm freezing. I have been for the last two days. I have almost no iron content in my blood, which makes me freezing cold anyway, but this? This is ridonkulous. I wear two sweatshirts, gloves, and a scarf. Every day. Just to keep warm. Absolutely awful.

I have my first A+ Certification exam scheduled, finally. I'm set for September 16th, 9am. If I pass, I can zoom through the rest of the course, and finally be done with this place. I don't want to go into CTS. I want to go back to Bakersfield. I want to be with Hawksley.

He's making an effort. He is. I've seen it three times, so obvious that I can't help but smile. He's meeting me in the middle. He's working with me. I kinda stamped out the "in love" seedlings that had started to grow when I gave up on him that night. But I want to get to know him. Be with him. Spend time with him. That sort of thing.

And I have nowhere to go after job Corps. I have no place to live. Absolutely none. I can't go back with my dad. We remember what happened then. I can't go with my uncle. He's a d**k, and I don't have a job yet, so he'll be an even bigger d**k. I don't have a car, or a license, or... anything. I have nothing. Nowhere. I can't even ask Ko-chan for help because she's in Berkeley, in college now.
I want to seriously talk with Louis soon. I want to have an honest-to-goodness discussion with him. I have nowhere to go. I want to move in with him. Obviously, I don't eat much when I'm there. I can dedicate myself to looking for work. I like to clean, and Louis hates the house dirty. I can see why me being there would be a great benefit to him. I hope he'll be able to see it too.
Let's be honest with me, shall we? We all know I only want to move in because of Hawksley. The pressing issue of "I don't have anywhere else to go" become a bit more of a factor, though. And it doesn't hurt my argument any either.

Gonna buy Hawksley StarCraft 2 for his birthday. Don't tell him.

Going to the Chinese market on Saturday. Gonna load myself on fattening Chinese goodness, and then be happy with myself. Spending limit? $30.

Budget:
*Need to save up for my trip to Hawksley's for his birthday*

Currently: $113
After all paydays before the seventeenth of Nov.:
$303
- $30 for waffle iron
- $50 for bus ticket there
- $60 for Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty
- $60 for groceries, to cook for him
- $30 For my trip to the Chinese market
= $73 for anything that I may need while I'm there.






User Comments: [1] [add]
The_Manly_Succubus
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Sep 11, 2010 @ 04:31am
If you get him StarCraft, then he could play with Josh. xD


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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