Amanda Wants
To be cute.
To be well-loved.
To be truly confident.
To like who she is on a regular basis, not just when she's feeling good.
To be a complete person, not feel like she's cut in half down the middle.
To be someone that she can love, and be confident that other people can love her too.
To trust people again.
To not be afraid.
To be the fearless facade I've made myself to be.
Amanda Doesn't Want
To be sad all the time.
To lie when she's not feeling happy.
To feel awkward in social situations.
To have to force a personality to adjust.
To always wonder who likes her and who doesn't.
To manipulate people all the time.
To keep thinking of her friends only in terms of "What can you do for me today? Prove that you're worth keeping around."
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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
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The_Manly_Succubus Community Member 
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Community Member
You're seeing your problems and faults, not real easy to do but I'm proud you're being honest with yourself.