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x--However far away--x
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Don't you love looking back on things.? Like for real. I looked back on my most recent entry in here and...wow. I realized that entry was posed on the...first of January. Thing is, twenty-four days later I wound up getting a new boyfriend; Kyle. That journal was so...angsty. I should have just realized that I wasn't meant to be with -insert name here- and that I should just move on. Forgive and forget, right.? But I'm happy now. Well. As happy as my mind allows me to. I dunno. Things with Kyle and I are going really well. We've almost been dating for four months. On the twenty-fifth it will be. Heh. I'm in that whole "********" thing right now. But funny thing is, he's the exact same way. I kinda like it though. He makes me feel like someone cares about me. Which is something I didn't feel when I was with -insert name here-.
I've changed a lot. I've learned to accept that fact that things will never be perfect. I realized that sure, it may be pouring rain when I had plans, but I could always just make the best of things and go dance in it. Nothing can stop me from being happy. Nothing will break me now. I'm in the process of finding myself, I suppose, and so far it's going...pretty well to be blunt. I learned who my friends were; my REAL ones. Not the plastic ones who left me to go get drunk and have sex with some guy they just met. Eheh. The people who are in my life now are the people I don't ever want to lose. They care about me. I care about them. I trust them and they trust me. They're the kind of people who I can be my complete self around. They're the type of people who won't care how I dress, how I talk, or the way that I walk. They looked past my imperfections and focused on my personality which made them see me. NOT who I am on the outside.
I think I've grown up a lot. I know I may only be fifteen, but I feel as if I've gotten to know myself a little bit better. I stopped focusing on all the negative things and starting taking glances at the positive aspects in my life. As I said before; nothing is perfect. Nothing ever will be. Everything has flaws, but I have to make the best out of things and stop being so ******** negative. That's how I managed to get some of my self esteem back. I just...stopped being so "emo" and learned to be happy and accept myself for who I am. I have a...decent personality, and an almost decent looking body/face. But those things shouldn't matter to me as much as I make them. No one is ugly because of their appearance. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. The only way someone could be ugly is because of their personality. People who call others "ugly" don't even realize that they have a handful of ugliness inside of them. You CANNOT judge people from their appearances. You have to get to know them before you can assume anything. Who knows; that person you called "ugly" could be a very beautiful human being on the inside. You just have to give them a chance.
But yeah. I've changed. I think it's for the best, in my opinion. I just stopped letting people get to me all the time. What's that cliche saying again.? Oh right...
~Life Is Too Short To Be Anything But Happy~
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x--I will always love you--x
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 xXn e o n f i s h i e sXx · Sat May 15, 2010 @ 12:48pm · 0 Comments |
