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Ok...I talked with him and he made me feel a whole lot better...I chose the relationship with him because it was hell and i knew he would be good at sex...lol and he so is...but just by being the total jerk that he is he reminded me of why i put up with everything and why I wanted him in the first place...hes my equal...lol...i think its sad how masochistic our relationship really is...i love it when he hits me and he loves it when i make him bleed...etc...I love him and vice versa