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Well, I haven't made a journal entry since back in 2006 and I thought I might update a bit.

I'm extremely excited today. Ryan just bought me a car! He's the sweetest person I've ever known. heart

I'm honestly not quite sure how I've managed without him. For the first time in my life I'm being taken care of. It's odd but at the same time it feels so wonderful.

Have you ever had something and then gotten rid of it, then the longer you're without it the more you realize how bad it was for you and how much happier you are? I've never really gone through that until this past year. The more I'm without my ex. the more I realize how badly he treated me. I never really imagined how good a relationship could be.

Imagine if you will, you want to spend time with your significant other. However, they never want to spend time with you. All they really want is to play video games, and do the exact same thing they do every day.They disagree with you just to be difficult and make you feel stupid. Because everything you do is stupid. Everything you like is stupid. They destroy your self-esteem and make you feel like less of a person. I'd always seen it, but never believed how anyone could put up with it. Then you find someone. That one special someone who you know is the one. That one person who you believe is really meant to be with you.

At the age of seven I moved to into my grandmother's house and had to start a new school and a new life. I walked into the classroom and immediately fell in love. Maybe not real love, but as much love as a seven year-old can have. Ryan was this person. I spent the next 6 years falling even more in love with him. Then it ended. We graduated and went to different high school. I never did forgive myself for not telling him. It was my biggest regret in life.

Then, after 6 more years, I find him again. He's just as wonderful as I remember him. And although we've been apart all this time we still grew to love the same things, as well as each other. That's fate.

Everyday makes me love him more and I can't wait for all of our years together.

So in a nutshell: I've never been happier, more confident in myself or loved life as much as I do right now. Happy days.