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The trial and tribulations of a lazy genius.
My mind, opened and examined under a fine, serrated blade of queried knowledge and painful memories. Stare in doubt and amazement at my life. At my finest moments, or at my brittle failures...
AHAHA! I Return!
My my my..
It has been long.
Days of old and young have passed me by, given new scars, bore new fruit.
Taken these individual virginity's of hollow life.
I won't be continuing my cradled story i began long ago in the dusty remnants of my other post. How silly do you think i am? Silly as a badger?
Well, technically, there is nothing silly about an enraged badger let me tell you..
But i digress.
Instead, i will be working towards making you laugh with my day to day happenings.
Whoever the ******** you are.
And i say ******** in a loving way. Like when you kick your ******** dog in the head for hopping up on the counter and pulling that sandwich down that you've just taken the ********-
GODDAMN THAT STUPID DOG! BAH HAH AND ROAR!!!
.....
Now then, where was i?
Yes, yes. *Pops in corncob pipe and puffs once, twice, exhales*
Let me talk about women.
---
Women. Dictionary dot com describes the definition of woman as:
wom⋅an
  /ˈwʊmən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [woom-uhn] Show IPA noun, plural wom⋅en  /ˈwɪmɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [wim-in] Show IPA , verb, adjective
–noun
1. the female human being (distinguished from man ).
2. an adult female person.
3. a female attendant to a lady of rank.
4. a wife.
5. the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.
6. a sweetheart or paramour; mistress.
7. a female employee or representative: A woman from the real estate agency called.
8. a female person who cleans house, cooks, etc.; housekeeper: The woman will be in to clean today.
9. women collectively: Woman is no longer subordinate to man.

Alright. Now lets take the parts i think are ridiculous and cross them out shall we gents and ladies? Also i will be putting in bold what truly makes sense, and will possibly, no, will make the men of the audience adulate with rancorous laughter.
That, or fart a lot and hope no one heard nor smelled the tasty treat sitting in their trousers now.

wom⋅an
  /ˈwʊmən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [woom-uhn] Show IPA noun, plural wom⋅en  /ˈwɪmɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [wim-in] Show IPA , verb, adjective
–noun
1. the female human being (distinguished from man ).
2. an adult female person.
3. a female attendant to a lady of rank.
4. a wife.
5. the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.
6. a sweetheart or paramour; mistress.
7. a female employee or representative: A woman from the real estate agency called.
8. a female person who cleans house, cooks, etc.; housekeeper: The woman will be in to clean today.
9. women collectively: Woman is no longer subordinate to man.

Now then. As you have seen, (Or adjusted your little glasses, yes i see you there, get contacts old sport) or delved in the facts of what I've done, you'll notice that i'm incredibly sexist.
HARDEHARHAR.
(I'm not really but bear this as every great artist has. Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off for christ sake! Do you know how bad that hurt? Worse then a kick to the crotchel area i assure you lads. Bear it.)
Women a social class? SPARE ME. Women are the stepping stones to the greater future of men. The only way women will ever be better then men is if they grow a hairy sack between their legs and start thrusting their hips hard enough to eventually sprout a p***s.
Men simply rule this planet.
Women as wives? More like harlots who use their husbands well earned money, no doubt earned in doing ultra-manly things like killing animals by hand mangling, on useless garbage and clothing...
And the day a woman is in office as president is the day i take up large, not quite efficient spear chucking lessons.
I'm looking at you Hillary.

-No longer the Dark Man, but ever dashing,
The Gentleman






User Comments: [5]
Chocolate Espresso
Community Member





Mon Nov 08, 2010 @ 07:37am


Over-generalized but well written, and fairly true on several strong standing points.

I advice you to talk to a woman who supported her ex-fiance through medical school, while working three jobs and putting herself through college, however, before you make such a broad, overgeneralized idea that woman thrive off of men's income.


The Dashing Gentleman
Community Member





Mon Nov 08, 2010 @ 07:39am


BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! Someone reads this stuff? Oh man..I haven't had a comment. Ever! It's awesome. Thanks. I've just been tripping face all night and you leave a comment on like..the worst moment in moral standings in my life. AHAHAHA!


Chocolate Espresso
Community Member





Mon Nov 08, 2010 @ 07:48am


Your commentary last week in Two Moon, on how -you- think I should run my characters left an intrigue. I figured surely someone so cocky could have much to say...

And then you showed up in Vinny's tonight. I couldn't help myself and now I am stuck between posts, reading this. Oh joy for me.


The Dashing Gentleman
Community Member





Mon Nov 08, 2010 @ 08:01am


I really...
Appreciate it. It means alot to me that someone is willing to look at what I've had to say ever and it just makes me feel...
I feel good.
Thank you. mrgreen


Chocolate Espresso
Community Member





Mon Nov 08, 2010 @ 08:12am


You're quite welcome. Hopefully, once I get my own post up on my journal, you will do the kind favor of giving it a glance.

Until then, I look foreward to watching your outlandish character.


User Comments: [5]
 
 
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