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Yesterday Julie and I decided to go to the zoo in Hattiesburg just for the heck of it, and it took us like three hours to find the dang place. First off I got to talking and forgot where I was going, and passed the turn. When we started seeing signs about places on the coast, I realized that I went too far lol. So we turned around, and finally figured out where to turn only to get lost again. So I had to turn around in someone's yard, and finally we found the place.


Well we were walking around looking at stuff, and as we passed a bush this ginormous bird flew out of it and scared the crap out of me, so I jumped like ten feet in the air. This random guy comes out of nowhere and is like "It's okay, nothing's gonna get you."

And we laughed about it and started walking again, and this guy is like "You ladies are beautiful, can I take a picture of ya'll?" So I hand him my camera just so I don't look like a b***h, and he takes a picture and gives it back. When he did he noticed I had a train ticket in my hand, and was like "Well it looks like I'll be seeing you lovely ladies on the train later!"

Before I go on let me describe this guy... He's approximately 40 something years old, and is missing the entire top row of teeth.

So Julie and I go to look at the zebras and stuff, and we get to talking about how creepy it was. We go over to look at some chipmunk things, and we hear "Choo choo!!" So we look up and there goes the creepy train guy driving the train, blowing the horn and waving maniacally at us.

Everywhere we went we ran into this freakin guy, I think he was following us. When we were ready to go we decided that we might as well get on the train and get a ride back to the entrance so we didn't have to walk, and we had paid for a ticket and everything. So we go over to the train and see that we're the only ones on it. Then we realize that we have to wait ten minutes before the train leaves and that this guy is gonna try to conversate with us.

Julie picks a seat like 10 rows away from the guy, but he comes over and stands next to us anyway, and probably peeked up my skirt as I was sitting down. And here's how are conversation went:

Creepy Train Guy: "You ladies sure are gorgeous.."

Me and Julie: "Aww...."

CTG: "What, ya'll don't know ya'll are beautiful? Every time I say so ya'll are like 'Aww'"

Me and Julie: "Um, I guess"

CTG: "So what brings you gorgeous ladies to the zoo?"

Me: "Umm..."
Julie: "We didn't have school today, so we didn't have anything better to do."

CTG: "Oh, so you ladies are in high school?"

Me and Julie: "Yep.."

CTG: "Are ya'll seniors?"
(In my mind I was thinking no, we're fifteen and if you touch us you're going to prison!)
Me and Julie: "Yep.."

CTG: "Okay, well it looks like nobody else is gonna go with us... I guess you lovely ladies are old enough to know not to stick your arms and legs out of the train."

Me and Julie: "Pretty much, yeah"

CTG: "But if you want to you ladies can do some stripping back there."

Me and Julie: "Um, WTF NO."

CTG: "I was just trying to make you pretty ladies smile."

Okay, so now we're really freaked out, the train guy gets in the driver's seat and starts the train. We passed by all the exhibits, but then we started passing things that hadn't been used in a while, and we started to get scared. I seriously expected the train to break down and this freakin guy was gonna try to rape us or something. I glanced over at Julie's phone and she had 911 already dialed out.

But luckily, we made it back to the entrance, and got out of the train as fast as we could, and managed to avoid another awkward conversation with Creepy Train Guy. When I got home I looked on my camera, and when he had taken a picture of us he had zoomed in on our boobs.


I'm not going to the zoo without my husband ever again, and next time I'm bringing pepper spray =)