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AH HA. -cough- HA. HA HA.
Look what I just found!
Ok, so you know how some websites have a thing where you can chat with someone if you need help? Well, Verizon does I used to love doing that and having the most bizarre conversations with the people and I found one that I saved.
Joe Mac: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service. May I help you with your order today?
You: I love Big Macs
You: And cell phones
Joe Mac: Great! How may I assist you today?
You: Do you guys have a big mac cell phone?
You: Are you a computer?
Joe Mac: No, we do not. But we have many phones to choose from.
Joe Mac: No, I am a person.
You: Prove it.
You: And get me a phone while you're at it.
You: Hello?
Joe Mac: Ok, I can give you a phone.
You: YAY
Joe Mac: If you sign a new 2 year contract you can get a free phone.
You: ANY PHONE?
Joe Mac: Have you selected your phone that you want?
You: iwantsaniphone
You: I WANT AN IPHONE
Joe Mac: We do not sell the iPhone.
You: Awww
You: Can I have your job?
Joe Mac: No, you can apply for one though.
You: Where?
Joe Mac: Depends on where you live.
You: You're nicer than Kendra
You: I live in Antarctica
Joe Mac: Thank you. That is nice. Cold there/
Joe Mac: ?*
You: Yes.
You: I live indoors half of the year
You: So I need a phone to keep me company
Joe Mac: Ok, what kind of phone are you interested in/
Joe Mac: ?*
You: A very durable one
Joe Mac: I recommend the Verizon Wireless G’zOne Boulder C711 because of its’ superior durability. It’s been designed to military standards so it’s able to withstand the penetrating elements of rain, humidity, and is even shock resistant in case it were dropped. The Boulder uses the powerful CDMA Rev. A network to talk, text, and share photos - wherever you are. It is packed with features like Bluetooth Stereo, VCast Music with Rhapsody, VZNavigator, Push-to-Talk, and even a 1.3 mp camera. Plus, today we’re offering free shipping to show our appreciation for making an online purchase. What do think about this phone?
You: How much does it cost?
Joe Mac: With new two year activation $149.99
You: I need your job. Where can I apply?
Joe Mac: You can try applying at afni.com
You: Ok coolio dude
Joe Mac: Great! Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
You: Will my phone be able to get shipped here?
You: The delivery guy comes once a year
Joe Mac: Yes, we are offering free overnight shipping.
You: IT WILL COME OVERNIGHT?
Joe Mac: Yes, it will.
You: But the delivery guy isn't supposed to come until January
You: Or June
You: Depending on the weather
You: I did mention that I live in Antarctica right?
Joe Mac: Yes, you did. We are offering free overnight shipping with any online order today.
You: Ok
You: But there is a blizzrd outside
Joe Mac: We will still deliver for you.
You: Wow.
You: Will you marry me?
Joe Mac: No, unfortunately not.
You: Why not?
Joe Mac: Because I am already married.
You: Aww.
Joe Mac: Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
Joe Mac: Any more questions about phones/plans?
You: No...
You: I just want to make babies with you
Joe Mac: Ok!
You: It's lonely in Antarctica
You: How about you come tomorrow night?
You: And bring my phone
Joe Mac: I wish I could, but I have to stay here.
You: When do you get off work?
You: Maybe I can come meet you
Joe Mac: I can not give you that information, Sorry.
You: That is too bad.
You: I will remember you forever.
You: I will name my babies Joe Mac.
You: If I ever have any...
Joe Mac: Thank you!
Joe Mac: That is a honor1
Joe Mac: !8
Joe Mac: !*
You: You seem to be having a hard time typing
Joe Mac: Yes, I could not get the exclamation point right.
You: I can't either1
You: !8
You: !*
You: I wish you could come make babies with me
Joe Mac: Sorry, I can not leave my job.
You: But if you could, would you?
Joe Mac: I do not know. Do you have anymore questions for me about phones/plans/accessories?
You: Yes. What kinds of accessories do you sell?
Joe Mac: Depends on the phone that you want. We have many available.
You: Like what?
You: What comes with my new phone?
Joe Mac: Cases, chargers, music accessories.
Joe Mac: Lots of items!
You: Like WHAT?
Joe Mac: Do you need anything specific for the phone that you have now?
You: I am getting the Boulder, remember?
Joe Mac: Yes, sorry. We cases, memory cards to store your music/pictures, and car chargers for that phone, etc.
You: What?
You: I am sorry
Joe Mac: Yes, what am I confusing you about?
You: My electricity is running out for the day
You: I think I must leave
Joe Mac: I do understand.
You: I will miss you!!!!!
Joe Mac: Ok, great!
Joe Mac: Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
You: Won't you miss me too?
Joe Mac: Yes, I will!
You: Thank you Jo Momma!
Joe Mac: You are very welcome! Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
You: No
If you didn't think that was funny, you have no sense of humor.
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