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Dear Die-ary, these are my emotions

I feel like I want it but can't have it
I feel like I like it but don't want it
I feel like I wish the world would shut up for a minute
And let me think for a while...

I want to take a break... maybe from life itself.
I want to leave for a while... and take a vacation from you and the world.

I'm sick of feelings.
They make me angry
and fustrated
and sad...
but oh so very happy when they're for something I like...
they also make me feel sick
and tired
and clingy...

I hate that clingy feeling... but what am I going to do?
I don't even know what I'm doing already...
A hug isnt going to kill me but on the inside it feels like its going too...
If you want something it shouldn't be such a problem to get it...
They say actions speak better than words...
and I feel like I'm all talk and no actions...
but what they don't know is I want actions... but I can't convince me that it won't kill

me...

But theres another part of my emotions... those are mixed....

I want to be close
but stay far away
I have a fear of what I may lose...
I don't trust myself
And things have never lasted
So I have to keep my distance
Because I'm afraid

But why can't I just be the norm? Fall in and out like they usually do...
Enjoying a moment or two
Having fun while I can

But thats not what I really want...
I just want to be close...
I don't even need a whole lot...
Just some reassurance...
A moment or two...
And I want the world to stay away from me... no pressure...

Thats how I feel right now...



Yet again don't care how much sense it makes... I just like to write....

<3