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Do I think to much. How can I feel this way. To think that I can say some thing that horrible. Am I even useful. Why can't this world get interesting. The boredom is my own fault. The music, I don't even deserve to understand there pain. Why am I like every other failure I see. Truly trash looks back at me in the mirror.Will any one listen any more. I exist, why was I forced to have this sin. What do I believe. Was I put here to die. Should I just draw the blade. Why am I so weak. I start shaking when I know some thing is true. I'm shaking, why am I shaking. Am I excited that it's true. Is it true that I am a horrible person any way. What about him he doesn't say I am. He is all that matters here. But them, my friends. They see that I can be wrong. Why am I wrong. Is how I cat wrong. What I feel. Can any way look and see. Can they see me. Will they talk to a piece of waste. Walk away from me. I can sin even if I don't want to. Am I insane. So what do I change. Am I what I hate. Who do I hurt. If I change will I still have my friends. Will I have more. If I change will he still like me. If I don't will I be able to meet him. I can't cry why can't I cry. I never can cry. For any one. I'm weak. Why can't I cry. Am I also heartless. How cruel of a beast exists as me. What do I see in a mirror and why doesn't it look like me. I wonder who will listen now For what I've done. What I did. What ever I said. No one will listen to me. No one seems to care. Have I already said what I felt. Is there a reason to stay hear. Where all I can do is try to cry with my dry tears and feel my worth slip as time seems to change from real to dream. I can't even see what I'm doing any more.God dammit. I'm crying. Why now. I thought there was nothing in my chest. I don't deserve to cry. How dare I cry when there is so much more suffering I haven't felt. I don't deserve to exist. I waste it trying to cry for my own pathetic self. I should just go die. He doesn't need to have to deal with me. Let him find some one who hasn't sinned. Who will never do him wrong.