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How she feels today....

I'm not the same person I used to be.....

I used to be more friendly, more willing, more outgoing, more social, and a lot more things.

I've changed drastically......

It's harder to make me happy. I enjoy making people feel bad. I enjoy making them feel sorry. I make myself believe that no one loves me and that no one cares. I've become more and more suicidal. My parents turn against me. Nothing seems to work out.

I believe the reason why I'm like this is because I crave attention. I want someone different from everyone else. I want someone who talks to me for a change. Tells me about their day. Tells me what they like and dislike. Tells me what they want to do with their life. Tells me. Just tells me. I want to be the one to listen and then tell them in return what I want. I want to really learn about someone. I want be able to know what they've been through. I want to know what not to say to them. I want to know what makes them happy. I want to have a real conversation with someone. But, it seems like everyday I talk about the same old s**t I do everyday.
I just wish I still had some of my old friends back. The ones that I still think about. That ones I wish I still talked to. They ones I wish still talked to me.

I've thrown those people away and tried to start new and it's only gotten worse. I do still talk to some of my old friends. The ones that I love dearly. Manny and Jasper are the main people I'm talking about.

No more RJ, no more Joseph, no more Devon, no more Josh, no more Dillon, and so many others.

Thanks for reading this if you do and sorry if I've been a b***h to you. It's just they way I am at the moment... D:

~Chrissy