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I'm sorry if anyone is offended by anything of which i say in this entry.

Dear anyone who reads,

Days have been getting a bit more difficult. I'm trying to focus on one person at a time and it's not seeming to work. I care about all the people around me, but some more than others. I am currently trying to help someone with their life problems. I was told i saved a life. Thats really surprising to me. More of a shock i suppose. When I was told that, i cried. I was so over joyed, I wasn't sure of what to do. I'm still trying to my best ability to keep this person in my life. I'm not going to let this person give up on me, or anyone else who cares deeply. Yeah, you know who you are.

In another case, school's a b***h. I hate the god damn homework/projects and the stupid wanna-be's that i'm surrounded by. I'm glad this whole thing is over in a few years. I don't know if i'm ready to start my life on my own though. It's really scary, knowing i'm going to have to make my own money, and support myself. I'll get the hang of it sooner or later like everyone else.

My brother has become a real smart a**, annoying kid. He'll be 5 on July 4th. I hope he doesn't stay like this or long. I realized I don't spend enough time with him, thats why he's so annoying. Thanks for telling me Joseph. I wouldn't of known. I'm trying to do better. My sster on the other hand is a bit more on the moody side. Heh, just like her older sister. She's got it rough. I can tell by the look in her eyes. She doesn't deserve a life like this. Neither dose my brother. I know what its like, and I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Parents fighting all the time. Kids at school. Work at school. Always doing something and having no time to yourself. Having no time to stop and think. All you have to do is go along with it until you can get away. Until you can escape it all and find someone to comfort you.
I've seen that my life isn't even considered "bad" to some. I've met people that don't even know their fathers, have been raped, have no one to express their selves to. I'm sorry if i've went on and on about how bad my life is. I see now, its not the worse. Thanks again to you Joseph.

I'm told i give good advice by a few people. I'm willing to help out anyone. If you need someone to talk to, im here. I'll be here. In the 5th grade I was an advice giving in my schools newspaper, but because I don't keep up with papers and I don't really enjoy doing homework, I got fired right before the end of the year. Heh, sorry guys. I'm not always in the mood to help. I get pissed off, i'm happy, i'm sad. I have feelings and different emotions too. You won't always get the best advice if i'm upset. Best if you ask first.

I've been sick lately. I've been depressed and i've been sick. Good combination, eh? No. I'v had a cough, i've been throwing up, i've had head aches, cramps, etc. It's not fun. It never is unless you get to stay home from school. Thats one good thing.

I think I can draw, I think I can sing a bit, I think i can write a bit. I'm shy, im weird, im funny, im mean, im moody, i have no life, im a computer freak, I have only a few real friends. I'm perverted, i'm difficult, i'm upset, i'm a whore. I'm a smart a**, I'm a best friend, I need more than i want. I'm broken, i'm tired, i'm hidden inside where no one can see or hear me. I want someone to find me without letting them in. I want to really get to know someone I can relate to. I want a best friend.

I believe i'm NOT girlfriend material. I'm more of a "Very best friend". I want to change that. I'm tired of being the best friend. I want more. I need more. I want a real relationship, not a fake. School relationships are 97% fake. I don't want that. I hate school. I hate that everyone i love is spread out, away from me. I want to be able to go and talk to someone any time i want or need to. I guess thats what phones are for. Phones aren't good enough, but they will have to do. I can't change it.

Thanks you guys, for reading this if you did. I feel a lot better. Thanks again Joseph, you've helped me become a better person. I would have never done this if it weren't for you. It would have stayed bottled up inside and then slowly would have eaten away at me, little by little.

Thanks to everyone else. I love you guys.

Love,
Chrissy

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