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My life is confusing. okay heres my situation:
I leave home to get away from my mom, who everybody thinks relapsed, to go to my God Moms house with my Godsister (i call her my cousin). For the first few weeks everything is cool. She, my Godmom, took me shopping, and let us go to the mall, went to the Juneteenth parade. Kiara had recently got in trouble for what she said was a set up but her and her mom were getting along regardless. One day she lets her friends in for a drink and her little brother wakes up. You have to remember she not allowed to have anyone in the house but they were just thirsty so whats 10 minuetes right. Well her brother didnt think of it that way. Well after they all left my Godmom calls and my cousin and her little brother are fighting over who gets the big screen tv for the moment then it happened...THAT LITTLE MONSTER TOLD HER MOM THAT SHE HAD PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE!!!! He promised he wouldnt tell but whats a promise to a 7 year old tat 'o tell who will lie to get whatever he wants. He told her that there was only one person (the boy of course) and that he was in there the entire time. Foul play. My cousin was so ******** pissed and so was i be cause i knew she was going to get in trouble me along with her. her dad was cool about he just said dont let it happen again but her mom wasnt so mercyful. She turned off the BET awards (right when lil wayne was about to perform) told us to keep the door open, took her cellphone, told us to stay off the computer and she said we had to got to bed at 10. Now at this point i wanted to go home to my relapsing mother and i wrote in my journal/diary that she was doing things my crazy a** mom wouldnt even do and that i loved her but she was trippin hard and i didnt feel comfortable there, which was all true. Then when we had to go to bed she said that me and my cousin couldnt sleep in the same room and that we had to turn off the radio...thats when i snapped. She messed with everything, the computer, tv, but one thing she wasnt about to take from me was my music. music is sadness, happiness, and most of all anger and i had to listen to music to express myself. I slammed my note book down on the dresser and she snapped right back. She yelled at me talkin about how she would whoop my a** thats how much she loved me. that makes perfect sense. anyway i didnt show any fear toward her and apparently that made her nervous she took my note book and READ IT!!!! can you ******** belive that s**t that b***h took my diary and ******** read it and she read what i wrote about her and got pissed all over agian. she said first thing the next day i was going home. i wasnt mad about that. then she got her self MORE hyped and said NO your going home now! YES! i thought to myself them i remembered my cousin she would ne effectd by this too. She cried and i cried as i packed my stuff but i was mad, angry, upset, off tha charts for real. those tears didnt come from sadness in the slightest but pure hatred, the hunger to just cuss her b***h a** out right then but i held back..sucsessfully. When i got home....ooh here we go....my sister had much to say on the subject but not much eagerness to listen to the real story. I got over it after a while mostly because my sisters boyfriend was making me laugh. Im happy to say that shyt didnt touch my in the slightest. Didnt even keep me up that night. i am srry that i disrespected her some how but....ahhh well whats done is done and disrespect is the only thing im apologizing for....except im srry she read my notebook, im srry she got PO ed and im srry shes such a b***h who would belive her 7 year old lyin a** son over her 12 year old daughter. now thats a damn shame. I guess i came across as ungrateful for the shopping that was much needed, and the taking me in and all that but thats not it. im am too grateful for what shes done for me and thats the problem if thats all she can do differently from my mother...well then id rather go around in last years clothes because its not worth it. Shes not worth it. scream