Hmmmm Where to start, where to start...
Latley, I guess I just haven't been as happy as I used to be.. Sometimes I'm unsure of who I am or if who I'm being right now is good or bad. I find myself wondering who my real friends are. Anybody could just put on a fake smile everyday and say "I love you" or "I care, really", I've seen it happen (more than I'd ever hope to see) and I've also done it myself.
I do know of one true friend, though. I've known her for about 3 years now. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And since life sucks (and most of the time I feel like life itself hates me).. she moved. My best friend who I could tell anything to now lives 1100 miles away. And it's hard to keep in contact because I'm still busy and we can't keep up with everything in eachother's lives when we don't see eachother everyday like we used to, not to mention there's now an hour or two difference between us.. I want to be able to tell her every thought and secret I have but I can't. I'm afraid that she's fading away and I feel like there's absolutley nothing I can do about it. I feel hopeless. I don't want all the memories of us to turn into nothing. (Ok now I kinda sound like a lesbian, but I don't care because that's how I feel) Even after 6 months of her being gone, I can't get over the fact that I have no clue when I'll ever see her again. I'm devastated.
So, I still try to move on. I've made one really good friend, but it's not the same.. I'm not saying that she's not great too, but I don't know if I could tell her everything. (But maybe that's just me because I can't even talk to my mom about alot of things anymore without feeling like I'm being judged.) I trust her and she makes me smile and all, but I guess we're just not as close as I was hoping. Sometimes I feel like giving up on trying to make friends and just accept that I can't really click with anyone else. But another part of me is saying that this girl is great and although you can never replace your old friend, you should hang on to this one because she's a keeper.
Latley, I guess I just haven't been as happy as I used to be.. Sometimes I'm unsure of who I am or if who I'm being right now is good or bad. I find myself wondering who my real friends are. Anybody could just put on a fake smile everyday and say "I love you" or "I care, really", I've seen it happen (more than I'd ever hope to see) and I've also done it myself.
I do know of one true friend, though. I've known her for about 3 years now. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And since life sucks (and most of the time I feel like life itself hates me).. she moved. My best friend who I could tell anything to now lives 1100 miles away. And it's hard to keep in contact because I'm still busy and we can't keep up with everything in eachother's lives when we don't see eachother everyday like we used to, not to mention there's now an hour or two difference between us.. I want to be able to tell her every thought and secret I have but I can't. I'm afraid that she's fading away and I feel like there's absolutley nothing I can do about it. I feel hopeless. I don't want all the memories of us to turn into nothing. (Ok now I kinda sound like a lesbian, but I don't care because that's how I feel) Even after 6 months of her being gone, I can't get over the fact that I have no clue when I'll ever see her again. I'm devastated.
So, I still try to move on. I've made one really good friend, but it's not the same.. I'm not saying that she's not great too, but I don't know if I could tell her everything. (But maybe that's just me because I can't even talk to my mom about alot of things anymore without feeling like I'm being judged.) I trust her and she makes me smile and all, but I guess we're just not as close as I was hoping. Sometimes I feel like giving up on trying to make friends and just accept that I can't really click with anyone else. But another part of me is saying that this girl is great and although you can never replace your old friend, you should hang on to this one because she's a keeper.
heart
“Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.”
-Merle Shain
Community Member
But I was right with the very last sentance. Nise was a keeper. XD I LOVE YOOUUU!!
I can made new friends just fine. =) And I love 'em to death.