I hate to be such an emo kid. Especially since I constantly bag on kids who whine about their problems all the time. I need to get this out though.
For those of you who I haven't told, I'm gay...more or less. I am attracted to girls on occasion. It's usually intellectual when it comes to girls.
I'm not proud of it. I rather hate it actually. I always say if I had one wish it would be to be straight.
But since I'm not really attracted to girls and I refuse to do anything involving homosexuality just because it's wrong, a lot of sexual frustration builds up. Also, when I try to do the whole no porn, no masturbation thing, things go from bad to worse.
On top of that, I've been trying to be just a better person in general lately. For God, for my parents, and just for myself. It's proven really difficult.
My grades are declining. I guess the term just ended though, so I get a chance to try again. Still, one A, two Cs and a B is hardly a good term. My parents are really fascist about that kind of thing. Also, I feel I owe it to myself to try hard. The only reason my grades are bad is 'cause I don't have it in me to try.
I've just been in a rut, even as I try to improve.
Well, those are my problems if you care to care.
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Wicker Chair's Journal
This is where I vent...a lot. Forgive me for my whiny-ness.
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