i wish to write once more, my liege
i wish to feel my soul
i wish to stir from endless sleep
and try to fill this hole
the hole that plagues my barren heart
that tears me up inside
the void where once stood winterheart
that poet so divine
so I stumble, dumb and blind
through unfamiliar lands
and grope for words that fit the rhyme
but find my empty hand
words words so many words but none of them ring true
all that I hear is meaningless blather, no music to the meaning
no meter in the lamentation of my weary soul
no pattern in the devastation that wreaks havoc on my mind
erratic emptiness, ghostly shells
snow is falling everywhere, black as homicide
fit to cover up the broken ground where dead men lie
i'm at such a loss
the words used to flow
they used to be so organic and such a part of me
now I have to think to make anything rhyme or make anything fit
nothing is good enough
I'm lucky to get one good scrap out of a half hour of laboring at the keyboard
what happened?..
I am as a dead boy, scarred and ravaged
Frozen to death out in the cold world
and now the snow, all black and soft,
falls lightly on my corpse
and I fall to dreamy sleep
at peace from love and war
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Wicker Chair's Journal
This is where I vent...a lot. Forgive me for my whiny-ness.
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