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WHATS THE POINT?
Whats the point in Living when your own life is all there is?
what was the point in that question?
Whats the point in Sharing when theres no one to share with?
find someone to share with.
Whats the point in Existing when theres no where you belong?
open the bible, you belong with Christ.
Whats the point in Loving when all your love is wrong?
obviously you were with the wrong person or you did something wrong, fix it.
Whats the point in Caring when nobody cares for you?
you only stop existing when you cease to care for others.
Whats the point in Trusting when those you trust are against you?
trust no one, not even yourself, nobody is perfect.
Whats the point in Healing when you'll just be hurt again in the future?
survival of the fittest, toughen up and fight back so you won't be hurt.
Whats the point in Moving On when people will just pull you down later?
forget them, move on and stay strong.

ME
I Spend my Time Thinking of Things From the Past.
(things you need to conquer)
Crying and Dieing From Things That can't Last.
(you just have to let them go)
People Walk Happily With Eachother,
(so you believe, you can't know how hard they have it until you know them)
As i wish i could be just like any other.
(everyone is different, you should be you and not them)
Why do i sit in the Dark Alone?
(because the light hurts your eyes and you don't like large groups of people)
Why don't i Feel Like i Have a Home?
(because you forgot your Christianity, GET BACK TO IT!)
Does any one Know, does any one Care,
About the Hurt Boy Standing Here?
(yup, people sure do. alot of people do, even if they don't say it)

RANDOM STUFF I NEEDED TO SAY
My Aching Heart has Broken,
It can not be Repaired.
(yes it can be)
It Hurts That I'm Forsaken,
That Nobody Ever Cared.
(yes they did)
I don't Know why I'm Here,
I don't Know why I've Stayed.
(because you know things arn't that bad)
I Look Around and no ones There,
I can see how my Life has Decayed.
(you had your eyes closed, your life just needs to be taken back into your hands)
I dont know how much More i can Take,
I'm not sure how much More i can Bare.
(it's a good thing you got over it)
Nobody knows all my Smiles are Fake.
Can any body See that this isn't Fair?
(people saw, they just didnt say anything)

LOOKING AROUND
Looking around, I am Lost and Alone.
(no your not)
I am the child who has No Home.
(no your not)
Looking around, I am Hungry and Scared.
(no your not)
I constantly hurt because Nobody Cared.
(thats not why)
Looking around, I can see the Truth.
(no you cant)
I can hear Her say: "I Don't Need You."
(she never said that)

AND NOW FOR THE EXPLANATION!
the reason for my depression was simple and unnecessary. it was just a chain of unfortunate events that happend to quickly and at the wrong time.
First: i had to come BACK to SC and leave my friends behind in spite of the fact that i hate it here.
Second: i had to deal with getting an entire house all clean military style because the family was to lazy to do it and it had become unhealthy.
Third: my gf (now ex-gf) left me so that kinda hurt.
Fourth: my dog had a litter of 6 puppies and 5 of them died.
Fifth: we found out my dog had an infection and could die from it.
Sixth: i was reminded when i walked into a restaurant that i'm in a place where everyone is convinced that i'm some psychotic cerial killer or something so i can't have many friends here.
Seventh: i had to deal with my family going off and doing things while i stayed here at the house alone.
Eighth: i found out i do have diabetes so the only reason i'm not a giant blubber ball is the military exercises i do every morning and before bed.
Ninth: i stopped doing my exercises for a while and that normally causes a depression because it (believe it or not) is addictive
and Tenth: i have a seasonal depression thing so whenever summer changes to fall i get a little depressed. GUESS WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR IT WAS WHEN ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENED!

I forgot, theres an eleventh reason. I havn't been to a chiropracter in over a year and i have a bad back. it really hurts and causes pain through my arms and legs too, also my neck sometimes.

COPY-RIGHTED!!! Shadow Kilo Fri Sep 14, 2007 @ 12:49am