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Great. Stupid day. As I told you i woke up at 1 o'clock and sat here for a loooong time. I read about philosophy for two hours. Now I know who Nietzsche was and now I know so many new sophisticated words (in finnish, though) and i feel a hundred times smarter. I also learned about Immanuel Kant, Charles Darwin, Thomas Jefferson, Jean Jacques Rousseau and Hegel. The only thing is that I really can't remember them tomorrow. I'll have to read through the notes that I made about them. I filled in a test and it sayed that Charles Darwin was nearest to my ideas with his evolution theory and that because there is evolution, the stronger species keep getting stronger and more powerful and stay alive longer while the weaker ones die away. Nietzsche thought that when all the weak ones were gone we could have a perfect kind of a creature. He didn't mean a prototype of one, he meant that all the humans would be like that one day, when all those weaker and uglier ones had died away. He called one of those "Übermensch", I don't know how to call that in English but Nietzche was German. He had ideas that kind of balanced each other out, and peoples' interpretations on his writing differ from each other a lot. Many christians like his ideas a lot and worship him, but they don't realize that as he says The Bible is too changed and too different from the original, actual scriptures to be a holy epos of any religion, and it's all an evil plot of apostle Paul for revenge, he actually hated christianty. His parents were priests and his father died, so he grew up among only women. People say that had an affect on his thoughts. Later on Nietzsche became crazy and kind of suffered a mania (i'm not sure how to use this word). His work has been divided into four different periods, I'll translate them directly as well as I can but if you are interested to know the real english names, check out from wikipedia or somewhere: romantic, sceptic, professional, manic (?)... People think that he had a lot in common with the nazis but that might be because of her sister who was very antisemitistic and helped to publish all his books etc, after he got crazy. The nazis took most of his ideas and after that they have mostly been linked to each other. Nietsche said that there was no moral. All that was built by people to make them look better on each other's eyes and limit each other so that they could rise themselves up in the bureaucracy. Helping is making others think you are nice and later gain good things back from people you have helped. That's how human mind works. I agree to Nietzsche at this point. He also liked to think (he wasn't serious about it) that people were always reborn again and again and again. That was I think Schopenhauer's idea originally. If a person accepts life and loves it, they should also accept it continuing forever or starting again with all the sadness and happiness it contains. Nietzsche was weird. ö_ö I'm not going to write more because it's getting really boring by now. There was something more I wanted to say but I can't remember it anymore. I gotta read more books about that same theme. We have so many but most of them are only for adults who have studied that before, like my daddy. Someimes he is annoying as he thinks he knows everything and when someone tells a joke he always has to explain it to me by whispering LOUDLY because he thinks I'm stupid. I know he knows a lot, but many other people know as well. I just wish he could stop underestimating me and that we could have converstaions about things. Not that he was telling me about something that he knows, because that's not real converstaion. He really doesn't know how to listen when someone is telling him something. I know things as well. And because I just have read about them at school and his old books I might know even better as he last read these things ages ago. He is annoying but I like him a lot. When I grow up I won't let him do that anymore but because I'm not 18 yet he has the right to be that way all the time according to the law. I mean... of course he can't tell me what I have to think, but he can keep me at home and in the end he can basically tell me what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not. But we read a good poem in the literature class which made me understand the value of moments and the day we are living now, so I won't think about it. I will live my life telling my daddy that I'm not an idiot. I'm just happy to know that the day I'm independent is coming in a few years. I will get a nice husband or wife (or go around cemetaries looking for "one night partners". lol.) and establish a nice little shop into the Greek countryside and I will have maanyy sheep. Every summer I will travel around and listen to all my favourite music and make up my own clothes and I'll never have to think of suicide again. 3nodding I think about it too often. It's my grades that sometimes get me down. I think I've got a bipolar disorder. Sometimes my mind is really up and sometimes on the ground... no... underground. I don't know how. I'm getting rid of that rapid changing in my mood as I can speak my own language again and feel that I'm capable to so things without needing to try so hard all the time and worry about the language and actually enjoying learning and doing what you are doing (confusing). I'm burning out even though I'm actually doing nothing at all. I don't know how that works out but that's really what it feels like. I'm also sorry because many of my friends have much more serious trouble than I do. Well.. That's why I'll stop complaining now.
I think I should go to bed, but I wanna write. This is one of those days when you can really write a lot ignoring all the grammar and spelling and still understand it all yourself. I think in a journal that's the only thing which really matters.
I don't know what I'm gonna do when I go to Spain. I can't come to internet. I hope there is a computer in the hotel which I could use every day. Just to write my journal and say hi to my friends.
Oh yes. And the title. Nothing really special. I spent the rest of the day (which I didn't spend at gaia) correcting my maths test and now I know that before candles are packed they have to be melted to make them fit better. >_< that was a hell stupid question and I got it wrong just because my way of thinking is not mathematical and that kind of logical, it's kind of visual and practical. I'm not stupid, I'm just not mathematical. I understand physics, because it has words in it, but I don't understand chemistry because it's supposed to have only words and not numbers. If I knew before I found out that chemistry contains numbers as well I would understand it. You see, I wasn't prepaired to see numbers and I just can't deal with it. I'm weird like that, and it's a big problem. And the lemonade? Because I drank lemonade. xD And it was good lemonade, worthy to put into my heading.^^
But I gotta go. Bye bye. (: