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It's relatively painless. Unless you're weak. In that case, promptly leave.

If you were born in January: You will die prematurely of a heart attack...while pleasuring yourself in a public restroom.

If you were born in February: You will trip over a pebble in the street and fall into a manhole, therefore getting eaten by an alligator.

If you were born in March: You will be dancing in a club, the bouncer will kick you out. You will then realize that he placed an explosive on you while doing so.

If you were born in April: You will spontaneously combust. Enough said.

If you were born in May: You know what, you will just die of old age...you will be 553 years old and so old you can't cry out in pain or ask for drugs.

If you were born in June: Your internal organs will explode one by one, causing your body to deflate and your life to slowly and painfully ebb away.

If you were born in July: You will die of dehydration. After getting lost in the desert for 5 minutes.

If you were born in August: You will have a nervous breakdown and your head will combust, splattering everyone within five feet with entrails. Congratulations, they killed themselves because of your filth.

If you were born in September: You will be given a mysterious brownie, eat it, then realize it's laced with cyanide and an aphrodesiac. You will be hot but die before you can fulfill your needs.

If you were born in October: You will go trick-or-treating, a creepy old guy will offer you candy at his doorstep. He will drag you in his house, experiment with your body, then strap you to the wall. You will die of a heart attack.

If you were born in November: You will choke on the wishbone of a turkey. Sadly, your wish won't come true. Sucks to be you.

If you born in December: You will be caught trying to see Santa at midnight on Christmas Eve. He will take you onto the roof with the reindeer. They will systematically destroy your body, leaving you barely living. Santa will place your body under the Christmas tree with a note saying: "Merry ******** Christmas."

The world is not black-and-white,
if only it were so.
It is spiced with tinges of gray,
placed there long ago.
Take a look,
see something clean,
Look again,
see only obscene.
If only the world was what we see
through rose-colored glasses.

Made it to the finish line,
found the strength to make it through,
made it past the start,
even though there was so much to do.
Found the courage to start again,
set my eyes on the horizon,
placed my steps one foot at a time,
now surprised at what I'm realizing.

"Our Shared Immortal Soul"
Whenever there is dark, I see your face.
When all else is a blur, it is you i can't erase.
And when the night is long,
and trouble comes nigh,
you hold me in your arms,
and I know that we'll get by.
Young though we are,
we walk the same path,
we have been through it all,
seen intolerance's wrath.
Let's drink to this,
our shared immortal soul,
let's build our own empire,
one that only we control.
As I lower my lips to yours,
there is only love,
and as our hearts beat as one,
I know that this is what I have dreamed of.