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We all had these aspirations of who we wanted to be as we were growing up, as we're still growing up. We don't stop dreaming just because we're a certain age. We keep going. We keep changing, adapting, moving, above all living. At least what we think we can call living. I wish I could say I was always awestruck by the most simplest of things, but I'm not. I'm hardly ever moved by the way things are anymore. Tonight, Emma sent me a link containing the 5 goals I wished to accomplish within the next 5 to 7 years. I can check 2 off, but the last one I will never be able to check off.. and here's why...
5. This one has no title…
I wanted to leave this goal opened so that I have room to edit it later, if I get the chance. There are plenty of things I want to accomplish. Graduate college, quit McDonald’s, find a well paying job, move out of my parents’ house, pay my own cell phone bill, pay all of my bills, food shop with my money, lose thirty lbs, get to level 200 on MapleStory(that would be a great achievement and I really want to do that,) never have to sleep alone again, trust someone so blindly that I’ll always know love, go back to the way my faith was in God, talk to Brittany about God and have her actually listen, have the right words to say, actually make an impact, get married to the man I love, have at least three of my own kids, adopt at least one baby, adopt a Mexican baby(cutest babies,) learn when to say no when it is wrong to say yes, feel confident in me, don’t doubt myself, stop procrastinating, be as smart as I can be, admit it, not say that I am just being lazy, I am not a genius, always keep love near to me, live life to the fullest, try not to regret things, always forgive, always love, always set the good example even when it isn’t cool, not jokingly plan the mocker of shoes’ death with Emma, stop staying up so late, stop over eating than not eating to eating, to nothing to start the process over again, work as an imaginer down in Disney World, work in Disney World, be able to spend the night in Disney World, pay for my parents’ vacation, be able to support my parents when they can’t, show everyone I’m not like my brother even though I really am falling into his foot steps of mistakes, graduate high school with a smile on my face, always love him, make up my mind and stick to it, pick the right thing for decisions, don’t scratch bug bites, get more tattoos, don’t get more tattoos, wear more dresses, always be cute, don’t sneak out on a school night, never get drunk or high off drugs, live like today is my last, learn like I’ll live forever, finish this paper even though I have so many more I want to write…
Above all, make it through life according to what is in store for me and be happy. Be successful life.
For me to ever complete this, I will have had to live my life. I'm hardly living now. I work, sleep, eat, and then sometimes see friends, or the people i call my friends. The number is so few, yet it doesn't bother me. at all. I'm happy with who I am with where I am. But I know I could be doing bigger and better things for myself, for my family. I just don't. I'm too stubborn and lazy to change my ways. I'm afraid of change. It's been over two years since I wrote that goal. I've changed so much since then, yet I still want those things.
I will admit, I completely fell off the grid for quite away. I love my job that I hated when I wrote this, I'm in management now. It's awesome to know that it's up to me to shape all these different kid's first job experience. They will never forget this job no matter the reason, I'm still helping them in life. I feel great that I can make a difference even if for a minute.
There is one goal I will forever stand by, be happy, be able to make yourself happy. Don't let the weight of the world and their sorrows kill you. They will crush you if you let them.
So, if anyone anywhere ever reads this, you better love yourself, otherwise you won't get far in this world and feel good about it.
 Shy-Star · Tue Oct 16, 2012 @ 08:57am · 0 Comments |
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