"guess what everyone....i am sick to mystomach and heart today....
because i am a transgender my ex......its still hard to say the word ex....gf,
but....seeing as john heathers dad loves to be mean to us...he has not stopped permitting me to see heather....
now that thats happening.....i dont feel good anymore...
I will be changing my profile and getting rid of my artwork on there...and the pictures of me and her and of myself....
I cant tell you when i will put new ones up.....maybe when i stop feeling empty inside.

Also.....i was going to a prom in april....the cancer group that meets together called somfab was hosting it and going to pay for everything that night, i was going to be fitted and have my hair and nails done and for once feel and be a princess for my....my heat...heather....but now....its canceled due to the lack of me having a date....
i-i worked out for hours to look firmer and thinner but....now...i dont even know anymore...i wanted so badly to be beautiful for once....and now....
I cant even look at myself in the mirror once again.....
I used to not be able to all the time but when heather was around and opened my eyes i could not stop looking cause each time i looked i realized that there was something she loved of me and thought was beautiful....she still dose but....i am clouded by the thought of not being able to show her and now shadowed away from my reflection....
i dont know how to even look at my brother and not cry seeing as he loved it that i was with heather.....he loved her and wanted us to be together all the time...

so i feel like a failer....i dont care if i spelled that wrong...that just shows i truly am a fail..


thinking of giving away my stuff on gaia also....i just dont feel up for this place anymore....