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I haven't served up any delicious blogging since Christmas 2007, it seems. So here's one for posterity, and because I am sooo bored. And I mean that I've exhausted Gaia, Questionable Content, Gingerdead, Friendly Hostility, Zero punctuation, and even My-spaz.
Give me some interesting links so I can waste my time. mrgreen
[img:960ea65470]http://aycu30.webshots.com/image/16789/2006012930688638757_rs.jpg[/img:960ea65470]
 madeinengland · Tue Oct 28, 2008 @ 07:44pm · 1 Comments |
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Happy new year, peace on Earth, all that jazz. I really can't be bothered any more.
Here's a copy-and-paste of a myspace bulletin I posted earlier today. The sentiment is sincere, but I'm all joyed-out for now. the cynicism has taken hold...
Quote: This is just to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS ... And a Happy New Year! I hope 2008 brings with it new opportunities ... new friends... and plenty of good times to share with some old ones. ....new experiences to try ... maybe even a new romance. Fill the year with precious memories and laughter. I hope all those pretty things come your way this Christmas, and that you have a good 'un. May Peace, Love and Prosperity be with you always. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to all men (and women). Eat, drink and be merry, but take some time to remember others. Spread a little happiness to those around you. 2008 could be the year to really make a difference in your life, or other people's lives - make your resolutions wisely. All the best to thee and thine - Big Love to you all (make the most of it before my cheer and good humour give way to bitterness and cynicism) Yours truly, x M x <3
[img:960ea65470]http://aycu30.webshots.com/image/16789/2006012930688638757_rs.jpg[/img:960ea65470]
madeinengland · Mon Dec 24, 2007 @ 10:39pm · 0 Comments |
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I haven't typed anything here for too long, so I am closing the void with some depressing cr@p.
I seriously believe that the world will end in 2012, probably on December 20th. This is according to the ancient Mayan calendar. I welcome death. In fact, i have been praying for Ragnarok. I just want it to be something really spectacular, like a four horsemen type affair and loads of risen dead armies etc, and plenty of redemption.
I have a horrible feeling that the world will go out not with a bang, but a whimper. Pathetic deaths are not my cup of tea. I prefer dignity. Still, when the time comes, there's gonna be ****all we can do about it, basically,otherwie we'd all be trying to survive like the insecure losers we are.
Did you know that you could apply today to be cryonically frozen for $28, 000?
Seriously, for an added extra fee, you can get a nice man from the Suspended Animation Inc. to sit by your deathbed and wait for you to legally die, so that he can inject coolant into your veins and prepare you for a good dunking in liquid nitrogen. The hope is that in future years they can defrost your cadaver and treat whatever ailment was killing you in the first place. Thing is, they don't know how to do that bit yet. For all they know, it could be completely impossible to resuscitate a frozen corpse. Sorry, no refunds.
If anyone fears death that much, they would be better off never living.
Happy deathday, y'all
[img:960ea65470]http://aycu30.webshots.com/image/16789/2006012930688638757_rs.jpg[/img:960ea65470]
madeinengland · Sat Jun 30, 2007 @ 12:14am · 1 Comments |
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a sermon on ye evylles of Coca Cola & McDonalds |
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Ok, i promised several rants ago that i'd explain my irrational loathing of the above-mentioned global fast-food conglomerates.
Firstly, McDonalds are just scuzzy, basically. What part of a chicken is the McNugget? If they're selling it at such cheap prices, then i think it's better not to think too hard about what you're actually buying.
Nowadays, if you fail every single one of your GCSEs then you can run down to your local McDonalds outlet, pick up a copy of the McNews and find yourself a McJob. You too can stand around in a dorky uniform serving the fat bastards who are your customers and are almost as brainlessly moronic than your chavvy self.*
"McWould McYou McLike McFries McWith McThat?"
* Yeah, Ok some of you might think i'm being harsh here, BUT I'M ANGRY, DAMMIT!
Perhapse the main reason i am mistrustful of McDonalds is the fact that they have a psychopathic, lunatic, maniacal-looking clown as their front man! what's their selling point? are they trying to put across that "If you eat at McDonalds, you might just get to spend time with this freak, kiddiewinkles!" or is it so that all the kiddiewinkles can see when they close their eyes is this huge red greasepaint smile? They won't forget about our fast food brand in a hurry, no siree! pleasant dreams, kiddiewinkles. *MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!* blaugh
The fact that McDonalds seems geared towards all the teeny boppers is a little disturbing. I think that they are systematically poisoning the younger generation with some sort of agent-x-brainwashing-chemical-formula to make them all succumb to their own advertising and propaganda, so that they eat more and more of McDonalds brand McJunk until all the worlds money belongs to whoever sits at the big shiny desk at the top of the conglomerate's feudal pyramid.
I don't know how many people have heard of the london graffiti artist known as BANKSY, but he has created the perfect illustration for my rant. follow the link twisted i tried to find a picture of his piece entitled "McDonalds is stealing or children", but all the photos are probably in police records.
http://www.banksy.co.uk/indoors/napalm.html
Ok, enough about McDonalds - we all know that their food is toxic crap that is lethal to most small animals, and is also fattening. I refuse to eat there (i wouldn't even drop in to use their bathroom if i was desperate), but they also endorse Coca-Cola, the company I have been boycotting for the past three years or so.
Coca-Cola is totally contemptable for the amount of pollution from their factory in India (I believe it was in Dheli). Not only are they allowing their waste-product-gunky-sludge to contaminate precious local water supplies, rendering it toxic, but they have also attempted to sell their waste to Indian farmers, mmarketed as fertiliser. These farmers are already living in poverty, but Coca-Cola's brand of "fertiliser" has actually completely laid waste to the fields, and left the land barren and infertile for any number of years. Coca-Cola have, in effect, starved any number of people to death purely for a few bucks profit.
And, think on this : if Coca-Cola's by-products can do this to Mother Nature......what the hell could it do to your guts?? If you dip a dirty penny into Coke, it'll come out bright as a button...
"Sorry, Madame, but i'm afraid your son has died of poisoning from the chemicals in Coca-Cola....a creeping dose....Look on the bright side, our autopsy team were really impressed by his shiny innards!!"
If you're thinking that Diet Coke is any better, think again! The artificial sweetner, ASPARTAME has been linked with the development of Alzheimer's disease in the human brain. It's less fattening than sugar, but i think consumers should prioritise brains before beauty.
The trouble with boycotting these evil bastards is that they own practically every soft drink on the market - all cunningly disguised as something slightly more ethical.
Lilt, Fanta and Sprite are produced by Coca-Cola for a kick-off. I'm sure there are many more, so i've just stopped buying fizzy drinks on principal. it saves worrying about what brand(s) i should/not buy and i haven't had to see my dentist about any cavities for a loooooong time.
So. Eat a healthy, balanced diet somewhere else, or just cook for yourself, you lazy jerks. Personally, i think that home cooking can't be beat. And please consider the ethics of modern consumerism. 3nodding
Amen
madeinengland · Fri Mar 09, 2007 @ 11:37pm · 0 Comments |
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Here is a continuation of my last blog. if you remember i was depressed and seeking solitude out on the school rugby pitch.
A couple of kids in year 7 (2 years below me) started to follow me, asking if i was "OK". I was pissed off 'cause all i wanted was to be alone. i started ranting that if i had wanted to have people near me, i would have gone somewhere full of people, instead of out on the comparatively empty field, and that people were like vultures, preaying on people's emotions and that nobody really cared if i was "OK" or not, they just wanted to hear about the secrets of my life, etc.
One of them asked me if i was going to commit suicide. i believe my exact words were: "No, yes, maybe i will, but even if i did, is it any of your business?! leave me alone!!"
By this time, they seemed to have got the message and i walked up towards the school to find somewhere else to purge my soul. I walked past my ICT teacher, who told me that if i wanted to, i could talk to her, which was nice, but i told her i'd be ok if left to my own devices.
After going to the school library, the steps leading to PE and various other quiet places which turned out to be not quiet enough, i eventually found myself sitting on one of the concrete bollards near the front of school. I got some paper and a biro out of my bag and started writing about the stupidity of being "OK" all the time. I usually feel better after putting my feelings onto paper. It started to rain and the ink smudged, but i stayed there until the end of lunch.
A couple of kids in year 7 (2 years below me) started to follow me, asking if i was "OK". I was pissed off 'cause all i wanted was to be alone. i started ranting that if i had wanted to have people near me, i would have gone somewhere full of people, instead of out on the comparatively empty field, and that people were like vultures, preaying on people's emotions and that nobody really cared if i was "OK" or not, they just wanted to hear about the secrets of my life, etc.
One of them asked me if i was going to commit suicide. i believe my exact words were: "No, yes, maybe i will, but even if i did, is it any of your business?! leave me alone!!"
By this time, they seemed to have got the message and i walked up towards the school to find somewhere else to purge my soul. I walked past my ICT teacher, who told me that if i wanted to, i could talk to her, which was nice, but i told her i'd be ok if left to my own devices.
After going to the school library, the steps leading to PE and various other quiet places which turned out to be not quiet enough, i eventually found myself sitting on one of the concrete bollards near the front of school. I got some paper and a biro out of my bag and started writing about the stupidity of being "OK" all the time. I usually feel better after putting my feelings onto paper. It started to rain and the ink smudged, but i stayed there until the end of lunch.
My next lesson was English, which was in a hut back near the field, right on the other side of the school from where i was. This made me late for my lesson. Our teacher is really cool about stuff like lateness, so i didn't expect any hassle, but as soon as i crossed the threshold, about three people told me that our head of year was looking for me.
Another girl accompanied me as i walked towards school. I still had wet eyes and she asked me if i was ok. i didn't mind it, though. it was nice the way she said it.
Our head of year, Mr Keeble was standing outide the Drama department and when he spotted us he shouted to the deputy head who was near the front of school.*
*sorry if you don't understand our school layout, it's really confusing. i've only just stopped getting lost on my way to lessons, 'cause every room is L20something or S-somethingteen or M-fiftyodd
He asked me what was going on and i confessed that i hadn't got a clue why i was in trouble or what the fuss was about.
It turned out that no less than 4 senior staff members had been on a manhunt for me because those year 7s on the field had told them that i had left school premisis threatening suicide!! I just couldn't help laughing at that. Mr keeble wrote a note in my planner to give me permission to leave lessons to go to Matron's office if necessary and that i "must be accompanied by another student". He spotted that my mum had written "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" just above the space where he had written. He asked if i would pop into the year office sometime for councelling. I never did get round to it.
I returned to the English classroom. A few people wanted to know what had happened but i didn't want to talk about it much. I just wiped my eyes dry and enjoyed the lesson.
Later that afternoon, when the bell rang for the end of school, a lot of my friends had heard the rumours and seemed slightly stunned to see me alive and well. A lot of people who weren't my friends had heard them too.
The variations of the rumour sounded a bit like this: According to some, i had disappeared into town/the Year 9 Girl's loos and attempted/committed suicide with a knife/rope/razor/syringe. I'll admit that i lorded it up a little - it's not every day that someone gets to die and be resurrected (sort of).
Anyway i just thought it was totally hilarious. My friend wouldn't stop fretting on about it on the bus. He finally calmed down eventually when i started to tune out. I still get small repercussions every now and then - some kid will say "Hey, you're that girl that committed suicide". I just smile and walk away.
madeinengland · Sun Jan 07, 2007 @ 02:08pm · 0 Comments |
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I promised a friend that i'd write a blog about the last time i cried, which ultimately led the entire school to believe that i was dead. This happened on the October 11th 2006.
to make for easier reading, i've split it into a 2-part episode. this is part 1:
It was on a Wednesday, two days after my birthday, shortly after Kim Jong Il test-launched his nukes and i was having a pretty crap day.
PE is my least favourite subject any day, but i had just finished an assessed badminton tournament and lost every single match. Don't get me wrong, i wouldn't say i was a sore loser, it's just that it depresses me that i'm so bad at sports. It's really embarassing to come bottom of the league in a class just short of 30 people.
Anyway, to make matters worse, while i was wheeling one of the net supports into the cupboard, one of the lads was swinging a racket in an attempt to hit a shuttle, and it caught me really hard on my elbow. so, the pain made my eyes water. When i got to the changing rooms, i kept thinking about the impending doom of the UNs decision to put a nuclear bomb in the pudgy hands of Korea's "Dear Leader". I just felt so bad that everything i held dear could be threatened by a fat little maniac in a khaki jumpsuit. Coming last in the tornament didn't make me feel any better, either and the pain in my elbow made it worse, so i decided that it would do me good, mentally and spiritually, to cry.
I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral, so the way i saw it, i had a lot of tears to compensate for. As soon as the bell for lunch rang, i walked out of the PE block and found a bench outside.
As soon as i sat down, someone came up to me and asked me if i was ok.
That annoyed me. If someone has tears streaming down their face, it generally indicates a problem - therefore they are not OK.
I got even more annoyed when i finally managed to shoo away the first person, that someone else came to ask me the same thing!
It reminded me of this girl who lived on my street. She would call and ask if i could come out and i usually had homework or something to do. Then, two minutes later, her younger brother would call to ask, and then finally her smallest brother. It was enough to drive someone crackers because the girl would call around again later, and the process would repeat!
In the end i gave up on the bench and walked towards the corner of the field - maybe if i moved around then they'd find it harder to home in on me. I was wrong.
END OF PART 1
madeinengland · Sat Jan 06, 2007 @ 01:28pm · 0 Comments |
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Is Christmas over yet? - New Year's resolutions |
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i know we've still got New Year's and all that 12 days of Christmas garbage to go, but personally i'm looking forward to the end of the holidays. stare
I am one of these people who needs to be following a schedule most of the time, or I lose all sense of time. Already i have become virtually nocturnal in my sleeping habits, staying up until the small hours of the morning and remaining comatosed until well into the afternoon. It's all very well and good while i have nothing better to do, but it's gonna be hell when January 2nd arrives and i have to start getting up at 7am again.
For now, though, insomnia suits me just fine because i love the feeling of solitude i get when i am sitting wrapped in a duvet, reading a book under my lamp with the rest of my room in total darkness. it's nice the way the shadows envelope me in a small bubble of light while i lose myself in a good sci-fi novel, or whatever.
I am also trying to get into good habits with my eating. There is just too much left-over cake in the cupboards and not enough will-power to prevent me from eating it all. This is where i go into obsessing about my weight, cause my mum thinks i might be underweight and wants to monitor my food intak so she knows i'm not anorexic,...but my mum is overweight herself and the last thing i wanna do is turn into my mum...and i'm caught between thinking "well, a bit of fat on me is a good thing at my age, so i'm told" but then i get dressed in the mornings and think "oh, lor! i have the notorious 'jigglybutt'*"
* (As described by Jermaine in 'Neurotically Yours', a cartoon series on the internet. I don't think that the TOS-sers will let me mention specifically which site, but i'm sure you'll get there by typing the right keywords into a search engine)
In the end, i skip meals during the day, comfort-eat to compensate, then excercise fanatically until i'm tired of trying. So far so good, as far as i can tell. i wouldn't say that i have an eating disorder per se, but i do think that i have yet to find a happy balanced medium. cheese_whine
My New Year's resolution is to stay fit and healthy, because i am hopeless when called upon to do anything overly active, and i am sick of losing my breath all the time and feeling inferior to all those uber-sporty humanoids who achieve so many awards/trophies/medals.
My strength, however is definitely my intelligence - i have all kinds of certificates and acknowledgements to prove it and i belong to the NAGTY* organisation a straight-A student should know better to obsess over her appearance, i know, but i can't help it if i have a few psycosis'.
*(National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth, no less) *Gloat, brag, boast* I don't actually gain any spiritual satisfaction from advertising the fact that i'm clever, i'm just mocking myself because i've spent most of my life trying to be modest redface
At the end of the day, the underlying message that i wish to give you all is this:
Be happy with who you are. Every single human being is a beautiful creation. Enjoy life to the full without worry - eat that slice of cream cake if it will bring a moment's happiness, but remember that an apple a day keeps scurvy away, so eat your 5 fruit and veg portions each day along with all those other important things that make a balanced diet - carbs, protein, veg, fat and sugar. The F-ATKINS diet is a load of cobblers! Don't hide your talent under a bushel - if you're good at something, work it to your full advantage! if you're not good at other things, work at them and find fun in diversity. If you're worried/depressed/anxious stressed confused sad emo -find someone to talk to - a problem shared is a problem halved biggrin
HAVE A VERY HAPPY, JOYOUS, FORTUNATE NEW YEAR! I wish everyone love, luck and happiness! All the best for 2007! heart
madeinengland · Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 12:35am · 0 Comments |
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