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I spent the night at Kayla's house last night. For thoes of you who don't know who she is, she had been my friend for more than nine years now. We met in the first grade and we are still friends now. well when i visited her last year, she had been cutting, she had already have had sex, and she smoked and was on drugs. I was heartbroken. It seems like when i leave someone their lives turn shitty. when i spent the night last night, she was not on drugs anymore and she was hanging out with better people. thats it. she still smoked and cutted. I want her to the kayla I grew up with. Is it so selfish to want her to be the same as she was? I wish I could help her, but she lives in arizona and i live in colorado. Somehow it all feels like its my fault, this all started when I left for colorado. I know, thats a stupid thing to think, and Amber would smack my head and yell at me for thinking such a tthought. God, why cant Kayla have a friend other than me that is like Amber?