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A collection of my own personal writings. I call it poetry.
Fear of attachment to monsters of lesser value.


stereotypical, washed out cries,
bodily harm concealed by kisses.
devastated.
stimulating cuts of dismay,
fractured with hopes of love.

i fear that chivalry has gone to hell.

dear clarity, i need resistance.
seperated acts of persistance.
feeling vulnerable and insignificant.
no longer remaining... stable.

violent thoughts toward the monster.





Decorative apologies laced with regret


in attempt to shred the solitude,
i dance in your open wound,
dazzled.

a kiss on the neck to be forgiven...
so the wishful thinking ensues,
but all the world is watching.

soft lips,
a tender kiss is all i want.
content with nothing less.

monster, why not caress me when you touch me?
feeling rather ordinary...
temptation no longer valid,
complete remorse for the challenge.





weakness beyond obscene gestures and solemn secrets


i am dissipating quickly.
needle to my throat,
vomit in the water,
vulgar, rancid stench.

delicate threads of hate,
somber and lonesome.
odious feelings of contempt,
sharing my complaints.

angel boy, leave me be.
angel boy, come back.

you'll always be my monster.





insecurity fed by a desensitized imposter


as stoic as you are,
your interminable leisure exhibits signs of consternation.
salvage what you can and leave the remnants for dead.

malicious intent consolidating fear bound by callow simpletons.
dwell in your lack of masculinity forevermore,
for i am wavering threats of a new whispering campaign.

i am not so irascible as i seem.
you are not so pertinacious as i thought.

smoldering me with discomfiture.
false are your words.
posing in an unauthorized persona.

you demoralize me.





the horrid breath of a new sensation hovering nearby


can you see me,
dancing along your intentions?
do you dread me?

forget the words, they were never honest.
forget the hints, they were never sweet.
forget the feelings, they were never valid.

is this happiness...?
contentment overwhelms.
timing overlooked.
anger fades.

conserve the memory,
for that's all it can be.





Searching for freedom among the free


concentrating on the sounds,
however vast and heavy,
dream beyond the boundaries.

life disciplines nobody.
freedom falls with mobility.

conquer the world as you see it.
the basis of living cannot be captivated in a single sentence.
swallow every drop of jubilous insanity that you are given.

contrast.
smiles vs. demons.
quicken your pace.
lighten your step.

hollow are not the hearts of families,
but the hearts of broken individuals.
forsake dissapointment and regret,
absorb exuberance and pride.





Hollow truths threatening to expose a new wave of emotions


for so long i have been traumatized by his overwhelming eyes.
for so long he has dictated my thoughts through manipulation.

sunshine prevails.
an empty chorus succeeds throughout the desolate streets.

what is this?
a mascarade of selfish desires intent on murdering my innocence.

a screech rips across the soil of my calm terrain.
a forceful introduction of what i call 'a revolution of pain'

power impairs our judgement.
the more he craves the power,
the less i offer it to him.

there are lives beyond our own,
and living life is happiness alone.





Displays of unnatural violence towards social beings


you host your sociable party of non-beleivers and hopeless dreamers,
i'll breathe in the toxic waste you produce with those words you use to induce.


i'm not your fake friend.
i'm not your seductive lover.
don't depend on me for your oncoming plague of useless existence.
i'm not your plastic toy.
you can't break me.
i do that on my own.

this horrific 'mistake' is not so 'consequential' as i intended...


we dream and dream. that's all we ever do.
when that dream is dead, who will we go to?





Disturbance on the brink of redemption


the monster does not want my generosity or pity,
he seems to indulge in the mess of my absense.
the monster finds me to be a nuisance,
yet he refuses to leave me be.

the monster continues to hide behind his facade.
he has not considered my realization; i have not informed him.
i will no longer build their self-esteem...
i will crush any apparent self-worth, beauty, strength, or power they see in themselves.

foolish monster, i will devour your soul.

i used to dance in the light of your eyes,
i used to crave the touch of your skin,
i used to wander the depths of your thoughts,
i used to quiver with the mention of your name,
precious boy, precious monster.

now i hiss and claw at everything you are.
everything you stand for.
everything i thought you were...

is dead.

i am left with accepting the death of the imaginary boy.
i refuse to accept the reality that is the monster.





Failure to breed satisfaction for my own morals


continue drenching me in jealousy,
it stimulates my tendency of killing boys indefinitely.
a boy of your stature deserves a residence in hell.

contemplating my judgement.
does the monster deserve such hate?
i refuse to converse with such pity.
might i fail to hide all my emotions?

don't stutter.
the monster will know.





Damaged goods make sturdy housewives


sincerity drives masks into the walls,
falling forward,
something new.

impress me with your morals,
doubt me with your judging eyes.
fake smiles behind well told lies.

cornered in the dark,
slaughtered in the light,
break down and fight.

sorry you're not the one,
i havn't the time, nor the gun.

taking your time to fit the posture,
while i'm making time to kill her,
the one you love.

because i can!
you're not my man.
damn the fool who crossed the line,
twice i've seen it in her eyes.

deceive me with your pretty words,
well thought out,
i understood.

deliver me to happiness,
and i'll retire from this mess.





Severity of youthful practices


high school remedies
for broken hearts;
broken extremities.

lingering kisses intertwine with bottomless misses,
following a pattern of hate in a society saved too late.

nevermind the consequence,
he'll withstand the evidence.

juvenile delinquency
ruining their lives;
ruin the way they see.

teenage compartments enhanced with oversized commodities.
they pay the price.





Contemplating the exception of perfection


despite the awkward gestures,
he makes no mistakes.
slinking towards the doorway,
he slides into place.

beauty like no other,
challenging the eye.
precious minutes waiting,
dangling the time.

disregard impurities,
if there are any to find.
stash away weakness,
for every bit is mine.





Unmasking reality to discern unseemly truths


deception is my fortress;
the only shelter i trust.
confined from demons,
and the evil ones i lust.

the corrupt have come to damage my spirit.
all innocence is lost with fear of resistance.
the conformists must comply with the wicked.

the demons have failed to alter my mentality.
it seems to be a triumph, but i have lost.
i am the host of a masquerade full of artificial beings.
every day this pseudo reality becomes more evident.

the longer i attempt to wait this out,
the deeper i am absorbed into it.
caught up in my own rebellion,
i have become the demon i once feared.

where has my fortress of deception gone?

a trace of hope lingers in the thoughts i develop,
yet i no longer have the will to encourage them.
my motivation has been thrust into socialization.
i am constantly depleting myself of my own morals.

why has my fortress of deception gone?
never would i have evolved into the monster i am today if...

never would i...

i expected chaos to be organized, but not well.
i plan to be the single devil in this revolution.





Beautiful people never seemed so digital


For days and days I sit in this chair,
in hopes that my life will reappear.

Beautiful pictures of people I never knew
show me the world from a different view.

I figure that I'm damaged.

Some years away I plan to forget
these beautiful people I never met.

Their words puncture me deep.
I don't feel a thing when I speak.

I figure that I'm weak.

Motives rendered useless resurface,
and then the world seems to hurt less.

I figure the internet is a device the goverment values in hopes to destroy humanity.





Frivolous strains of haphazard inquiries


Celebrating visuals of which I am defined,
I step back into a subdued state of mind.
Are we calling it quits?

I'd rather appear erratic than gaudy.
I doubt the materialistic life that I thought I depended on.
Perhaps such a world of leisure was dependent on me.

Oh the fruits of labor are tempting.

My heart swells with misconception.
My brain swells with aspiration for validity.
Lend your compliments to my saviors: urgency and obligation.
They require all of the recognition.

God sent us stepping stones to greet us at the entrance of Hell,
So would God expect us to redeem the spot where lucifer once fell?





Politicians are accomplishing Lucifer's dream.


Their speculations are confirming my misinterpretation of their current occupation.
Your endorsement concerns me.
Quick, incinerate the demagogue.

The demographics are transforming;
Rapidly producing more cause for alarm.

I'm finding the timing quite inappropriate.
The inaccuracy of bureaucrats daunt me.

Equip the elders with wise words,
and the youth with clever thoughts.

However, we forbid for you to supply them with an insubordinate upbringing.
The second their rebellious tempers dare to revolt,
they will be slaughtered by the court of injustice.

Surely the media will immediately be informed and consequently
the world will disgrace the single youth who defied conformity.

The idiosyncratic child is a project.
The symbolism this child has created is renowned.
But only the trees recognize the child as an accomplishment worth celebrating.

Cocky men dressed to impress waltz around a grand arena of selfishness
while the child's peculiar eyes admire the wonder of scrutiny adored much less.





Humanity at its best is no longer humanity.


Unintentional laughter.
You wouldn't understand.

My first impulse is to shut you out.
My second is to persuade you to to come in.

Desperate times call for unethical behavior.
Reject me and I'll suspend your good merit.

False interactions with a prosecuter hardly known.
Limit me and I will reject your humane offer.

I am calm.
For you, I am anything.
For them, I am nothing.
For her, I am everything.

All there is to know eventually will be seen.
For all you can do is feel the lack of description flow through your rusty veins.

I am loss of direction.
I will consume you with frugal options.
I will doubt you with empty words.

Hold close to midnight.





Call me anxious, but baby I'm a wreck.


Kill the silence.
Shred the airwaves.

Dense.
Dense morals provided by dense characters.
Hollow feigns generating indirect negativity.

Simpletons dance around in floural clothing.
I cower beneath them...
afraid of being the last sustainable individual.

Without cause I am deeply ********.
I am deeply insecure.
Without cause.

I'm lonely.
Even the tired waves have the shoreline.
Even the dull caves have the animals.

Even the selfish sun has the world begging for survival at his feet.

I am entirely useless.
Factor my family;
they could do without me.
Factor my friends;
they have always done without me.

I am the last of the dysfunctional, slightly retarded felines to cross the path of demons.

Be it your will,
Be it your duty,
You will never know.
I am obsolete.





Fear the hideous face of mankind.


I emanate the worst of minds.
I try not to illuminate that fact.
I dwell in the circumstances.

Over-acheivers stand at my funeral.
Blank expressions.
Rebels grind underneath my casket.
Distraught behavior.

I descend below to converge with their frail souls.
I am my own contradiction, or so they tell me.

Sweet princess,
dismantle your armor.
I wish you all the harm in the world.

I will not redeem myself.
I find it to be a burden.

Short spasms of passion overcome me.
All the world chooses to ignore my existance.
I pity their weary judgement.





Serendipity Is Costly


I find reassurance in your voice.
The sweet echoes captivate me.

Swimming in your tender words,
I drown myself in lavish indulgences.
All for the sake of keeping you.

All so I appeal to you.
How do I feel to you?

Caress my aching body,
Oh, do coddle me fondly.
Embrace me with an angelic kiss.

Every movement still;
provocative advancement.
Erotic yet celestial.

Innocence glorified.

The sheets ask for more.
The pillows plead for less.
Intense.

Love had never been defined.
Until now.

This infatuation has reached it's height.

The world has never seen a love like ours.
The world will never compare to you.
The world will never know this feeling.

And I hope to God you stay true.
For the only one I trust is you.





Annihilation is such a strong word...


The choices that we make lead to mistake after mistake.
Sever their heads, they're off to bed.

The intake that we devour is considered much too sour.
Dissect their brains, too little too late.

Debauchery is my kryptonite.
Decadence envelopes me in a repugnant array of self-decomposition mechanisms
contrived with assistance of affliction and animosity not yet known to man-kind.

Conform with the regularities of inferior, naive media-inhaling hypocrites?
I think not.
Feeble-minded fools belong to the dust of my words.

Disposition is my cup of tea, as they'd say.
Sorry.
I find it accomodating to delude you.
My purposefully misinterpreted acts of friendship were perverse.

I am clever enough to discern the meaning behind your approval.
You enjoyed my company,
As I enjoyed yours.
And thus we are entwined.

Let the cataclysm begin.

Sweet dreamers say goodnight to sweet dreaming,
but for a second they whisper hello to slow breathing.





Generations of failures speak for the mass.


The void is unshakable, though my hands are trembling.
Exasperation exceeds my initial intentions.

You're quite outspoken.
I'm deliberating wether this trait is admirable or defective.

You seem far more tenuous than usual.
I don't mean to impose, but you're beautiful.
The lack of heart seems unnaturally suitable.

I detect a cliche set of verbs and nouns competing for the spotlight.
Yet I will reinforce this wall of false mannerisms 'til the day I depart.

I am merely a reflection of a nonentity.
Abstemious in more ways than one.
With less value and less significance than those before me,
I am the cipher of the future.

An incompetent, insipid waste of conception.

In less than two days.
Quicker than you will notice.
You cannot fathom my intentions.

Let the march drag on for hours.
Let the has-beens and forlorn nobodys share a seat next to nowhere.

I won't remember anyhow.





Impossibilities include attaining sweet dreams.


Constant waves of jealousy rip through my internal assortment of distorted turmoil.
Generous heaps of foul words empty through a stream of obscene thoughts.


Oh sympathy, don't regret my decisions.
I called on you nearly a month ago.
You are nowhere to be found.


Damn the threats that accompany my actions.
I feel as though this weight will obliterate me entirely.


Forgive and forget, as they say.
Well Goddamn your stubborn ways.
I've been dwelling here for days.

Am I condemned or absolved?
I am seeping through the cracks.
I am dripping.
I am slipping.


I am a second away from losing myself completely.
My insufficient methods are digging a hole so deep that I won't see the end of it.
And I'm complacent with this.





Rarities and dissapointments are my best friends.


Searching for deeper meaning,
I collapse into myself.
I hereby announce a hollow exchange of words.

Layers of blunt repulsiveness weigh down recovery.
Self ridicule is a constant concern.

There are no enemies except those that my subconscience chooses to fabricate.
For the benefit and safety of others, of course.

Read between the lines.
The pleasure is mine.
But please regard the warning: I am undefined.
This is a hopeless gesture for some.

Though I admit to exaggerating, I will not admit to persuading.
I do my best to elude the mass.





You were never an expert at reading my intentions.


Spare me the facade.
I am awakening.

Casualties are mass reproductions of history in the making.

Effortless timing.
I am no feat.
I own no triumphs.
I am deliberate.

Your eyes seize mine.
The moment is lost.
All I see, all I know--
Your eyes.

These eyes are swift,
these eyes are human.
These eyes are mine.
I will keep them.

Sealed kisses on vibrant lips.
Temper, temper.
Now I am bitter.





Fingers Melt
Tired eyes peel backward.
Exposed skin.
Where is my saint?

I am not worthy,
laying here in such disdain.

Weary, contrived words left unspoken and a will made to crumble--
these are the demons I speak of.

Manufactured hearts tango with a crippled reality.
Constructed machine-oriented life used to induce or relieve pain.

I've fashioned a more mature gesture.
Can you handle it?
...Sizzle sizzle.
Society has gotten the best of us all.

And thus I am impregnated with vulgar concepts.
Pause and notice that ( I am not ) what you think I am.





The Anti-Christ knows no boundaries.


Degenerate souls stride through entryways leading to...
Seperate the ingenius from the affectionate and the soulful from the monstrous.

You are cunning.
Scowl at the killer and name her the sinner.
Not by my terms.

Phantom whispers decay in my rotting ears.
Color me blindly.
I am a blind color.
A bedridden socialist with fear seeping from her pores.

Constant motives.
Never clear.
Always wishing.
Never there.

Steam rises from the incarcerating grave where my body lies.
The sun; it ignites the dirt with a hate that could fuel the nation.
Father, am I your daughter?





Love illuminates the Precarious ways that destroy us.


Detatch my greedy mind.
Unshackle my vile demons.
Redeem my putrid lies.
Exterminate my filthy thoughts.

Behold the boy i will never break,
though I hold my own.

Silk skin.
Abysmal eyes.
Ravenous, animalistic passion exuding from our fears.
No boundaries.
No obstacles.

I'll let you hold the world.
But you've got to trust me.
Craving. Desiring. Needing.
God, why am I so selfish?

The tension in the room is raw.
Emotions spill into our veins.
The walls are glossed with lust.
Stimulating conversations.

The depth of my words could never fathom your description.
We nearly drink the fluids of imperfection yet you soar above me.
I'm aching for the moment you tell me.

If looks can't kill,
then your heart might do it for me.
Profound beauty inside a metal cage.

Maltreatment of my heart requires excruciating discomfort to those who lead me astray.





Regression can be comforting.


Despondent.
Whispers seldom heard.
A fiery, gaping hole.
I descend.

You set my heart ablaze.
My ashes proved the ruin.
Why am I not fased?

I set the sun on you.
I thought you knew.
But I see no change.

Penetrating words.
I removed the caution.
Why'd I relapse?

Decreasing the truths in the world is a bitter concept.
I play my own part in the victory of shame.
These words don't blend.





Abandon your idols.


Shuffling my feet,
awkward as hell.
******** the stress,
I'm dying to tell.

Withdrawing my hollow heart from the hands that disowned me.
Abandon myself for the shame that never seems to cease.
Sweet liberty, break me free of these self-destructive, habitual crimes.

This guilt is persistant.
It's been patiently waiting to consume me for quite some time now.
And here it comes, a whole city of fear and dishonesty blazing with fury.
The hungry cannibals, angry at my sins, are determined to capture my corrupted soul.

Apprehension takes a hold on me.
Powerless beneath it's grip.
Ashamed of my feeble thoughts.
Dishonored by my own faults.

Crippled mentality.
Immoral to the bone.





Decomposing Flesh Makes for a Bold Statement


Rotting virgins turn into clay beneath the feet of self-indulgence.
Tension never knew me like this before.

The consequence is devastation at it's best.
I am dragging my heart through the wars of my ancestors.

Vegetables are melting in my mouth like chocolates.
Why do they taste like s**t?
Follow the root into the ground and you'll find the bottomless pit.

It's kind of like kissing death on the cheek.
It's hot as hell but the gesture is oh so sweet.

Limbs are flailing aimlessly, as they should be.
Abrupt happenings turn into violent atrocities.

I am the co-founder of a happy home.
Oh wait, we sold that idea about a year ago.

Lick up the wreckage.
Tastes like heavy soil.
Oh here it goes again,
wrap negligence in foil.






medicatedkiss109
Community Member
medicatedkiss109
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