Sunday, June 6, 2010.
I'm sitting on the couch waiting for my friend to wake up so we can work on a project for school. I am listen to Boys Like Girls and this song really caught my attention. The song is called Go, and I couldn't help but think really hard about what it is saying.
"Get up and go. Take a chance and be strong. Or you could spend your whole life holding on. Don't look back just go. Take a breath and move along. Or you could spend your whole life holding on. You could spend your whole life holding on."
If you let go and walk away, where do you end up going? Do you go down the trail of a happy life, or the trail to complete misery? If I let go of her, would I never see her in my dreams again? If I forget him, would he never love me? If I let her go, would her spirit be lost? If I let go of the past, will my mind become a waste land of forgotten memories? If I take a chance, will I be strong enough to survive?
All these questions are running through my mind and I cant stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I don't want to let go of her, my beautiful Marissa. She was my fairytale come to life. I can't let go of him, can't let Dylan go. Dylan was the light down my dark tunnel of never ending sorrow. I can't let go of her, not my Grandmother. She was like my mother, so gentle and caring. She was the twinkle in my eye. I can't let go of my past, it brings me tears of joy more then tears of pain. If I let go of the past, then I let go of the ones I love, and you can't let love go, no matter how hard you try. Taking a chance is dangerous, for I may not be strong enough, which I know I'm not.
I can't let go, I want to hold on. The things I hold onto are the thinggs that make me smile, not cry. If I let go, then I have nothing left.
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