Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So, ...what? you thought you could just go through ignoring me, not talking to me? you thought we wouldn't run into one another eventually? you look so shocked i still remember you... well, i'm just surprised you're not ******** dead yet... congrats. I dunno what the ******** to do- you wanna clear it up for me, a**?- no, actually, CAN you even clear it up in your mind?.... i didn't think so... fine- go with the other sluts. i'll see ya later...

I walked into a bar tonight
I knew that it was the last place I should be
I'm like a fly to the neon lights
A good buzz is the only thing I need
Pull up a stool
Nothing to do except
Shot after shot
Drink till I puke
And I'm
Standing on the edge of what is real
I feel like I've drank away the better part of years
My fears have me
Pinned against a wall
without them I would fall so
Before I'm gone lets have a cheers
I've lived through some hard times
I've done the best I could with what I've had
Life is never a short flight
I'm still so young how did I get so
Pull up a stool
Nothing to do except
Shot after shot
Drink till I puke
And I'm
Standing on the edge of what is real
I feel like I've drank away the better part of years
My fears have me
Pinned against a wall
without them I would fall so
Before I'm gone lets have a cheers...




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Are you happy now that you know what you've turned me into?!?...

I saw you hurt, i watched you cry,
I heard you whisper you wanted to die.

I held you tight in my arms, i wanted to help,
...But you were too far gone...

You say it’s your duty, you try to act strong,
But I know that you’re lying, even you know that you’re wrong.

You say you have to, that you have no choice,
But you don’t have to die, you have a voice!

More than everything else, you know I love you,
So if you get killed, what am I going to do?

I can’t live without you, there’s nothing more I care about,
You can trust in me, with that, there’s no doubt.

You say you have to serve your country, and all its messed up ways,
If you do die for it, will they remember the days?

All the days you served, the days you fought,
All the traps you set, the enemies you caught?

Will they care about your inner strength, what you had to leave behind?
How their traps tore you from your family, and messed with your mind?

If you still feel you need to go, I cannot stop you,
…But bring these thoughts with you…

Remember that we love you, me and baby Ryan,
And when we all meet, we’ll be flying.

Up through the clouds, into the night sky,
There’ll be no more pain, no more reason to cry.

You and I will be together forever, this is true,
And maybe you’ll be able to fully understand when I tell you, “I love you…”…








heart I'm sorry i couldn't help you... I love you.. heart

Hikari... my sweet Hikari... Do you know? Can you feel?
My anger, my hatred... my hurt, my heart you can't heal.
You play with my heart, make me crazy with anger,
yet you push me - careful, Yadonushi- you're close to danger.
I taste your blood, lick clean your fingers as you begin to cry,
i slowly smile as you begin to shake, are you ready to die?
My knife gleams in excitement, flashes to you,
it scratches over your skin, drawing blood from you.
Your pale eyes tremble, as they slide shut,
your soft, pale skin is cold, this is too much.
Too much excitement, too much fear,
too many soft whimpers from you i hear.
My knife presses down, opens your flesh,
your eyes are wide, and hold a warning of death.
The blood pours out, unable to clot,
******** with me?, sweet hikari? I think not.
Your eyes roll back, your chest heaves in,
I kiss your cold lips as i softly whisper, "My Sweet, Sweet Hikari... I. Always. Win..."

falling, deeper, darkness, surrounding.
should i fall, just let go?
slit my wrists, and give in to no?
no to living, no to trying,
no to staying alive?

i hear the voices calling my name,
telling me, screaming, its not just a game.
i scream for silence, cry for peace,

the dark angels tug me down...

Oh, man this month has been hell for me. I'm sooo confused! First, the guy i was with broke up with me and for a very good reason. crying I made a really big mistake and now he hates my guts. I've been trying to get him to forgive me, and he won't listen. Then, one of my other friends is acting very very strangely. He's very skittish and has been getting angry easily. I'm worried about him cuz we've been close friends for a long time now, and we've had history in the past together. He keeps saying how he can't wait to turn 18 so he can go off to war and get killed, which in my opinion, is not exactly healthy if he's looking forward to it! eek He gets very distant sometimes, and looks off into space, like he's thinking of how he'll be killed. I'm trying to talk to him right now on AIM but he's in one of his moods. He was gonna come over today, but maybe its best if he doesn't... xd (LoL, For fear he'll kill me) I hope i can help him soon! Input? please?