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This Journal rant is directed at one person and one person only. I am not going to state who it is. If by some rare chance they ever read it, they'll know who they are. Don't bother asking, don't bother whining. This post is for my own sake. This is MY healing, and my way of moving on. After this, I will not speak of the subject ever again, in any fashion.
---Begin Rant---
You were my friend. You were someone that I admired and looked up to, and would have done anything for. I comforted you when you needed it and wasn't afraid to tell you when you were wrong. You said you valued that about me. When, then, did someone else's lies and half truths suddenly become more valuable?
I never lied to you. I never said anything behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face. I NEVER stabbed you in the back, and I never stopped believing that somewhere underneath that cold exterior was a good person. Not until you turned on me and showed me just who you really were.
Suddenly, I was the one who made the mistakes and was leading a great conspiracy against you. I DEFENDED you for months against people who thought you were the ******** antichrist, and this is the thanks I get?!?
I didn't think it was truly possible for me to hate anyone. I didn't believe that the emotion existed, but I think I'm getting a hint of what it's like now. Even when I broke all ties and washed my hands of you, you continued to nitpick and b***h and generally make my life a living hell. I don't even want to hear your NAME anymore, because it fills me with so much anger.
Who the hell do you think you are?? You are not a god, you are not the centre of the universe and the world does not revolve around you. The best artists in the world, past and present, can sometimes be parnoid ruthless and cruel. Their art makes them able to do this because no matter who they piss off, they'll always have a means of giving themselves what they need. I have a newsflash for you.
You're not that good yet.
One day? You very well may be. Your art is good, don't get me wrong. Is it good enough for you to think that it gives you the right to be an a**? No. You've got a LONG way to go, but until you remove those rose-tinted goggles when you view your own work, you'll never see that.
You dont' care about the bridges you burn, and one day you'll realise that you've backed yourself into a corner with no way out. No one will be there to help you because you've shoved them all away in some blind attempt to make yourself out to be right. People make mistakes. We ALL make mistakes. Even you.
You are delusional, paranoid and downright sadistic. You told me that yourself. Your problem isn't that you have delusions of grandeur. You have delusions that everyone is out to get you. That anyone who disagrees with you has some kind of higher agenda to ruin your life. Another tip for you...
You're not that important.
Yet you have the nerve to act as though someone has inflicted you with a mortal wound the moment they show the slightest inkling of breaking free from the black hole that is your 'friendship'. There's only so long you can take from others and give nothing back.
Being a mediocre artist does not give you the right to play god. Being a paranoid individual does not give you the right to accuse people falsely.
You have destroyed most of the true friendships you had, leaving you with those who know you in reality and those who have their noses shoved so far up your a** that it's likely they wouldn't know the daystar if they looked at it. You say that you're a different person in reality... like that is supposed to make a difference to those who only know you HERE. We don't care what you're like in real life. You've shown us HERE that you are a petty individual who thinks of nothing but yourself and how you can make more of a name for yourself to those who are naive enough to not know your true colours.
I'm just glad that your attempts to make MY life miserable have failed at every turn. There's something to be said for sticking to my morals and simply speaking the truth. It'll stand up to scrutiny a hell of a lot better than your ego-inflated lies. You can't even stand up for your own words... you have to fling accusations and then block that person on AIM and in your threads so that they can't prove you wrong.
You are a coward. If you had the convictions of your words, you would defend them instead of making it impossible for anyone to refute them.
You think that my life is spent thinking up ways to make you miserable? You're wrong. That would mean that you're actually high enough on my priority list to think about, and I know far more deserving people to have on my mind. You're also doing a good enough job of ruining your life on your own. You think that there's some great conspiracy against you? You're wrong. We just finally woke up and saw that you were using us to justify your own ideals. You think that eventually we'll see you for the 'greatness' you are and come crawling back? Yet again, you're wrong. I've lived far longer than you and have had enough immature bullshit already. I don't need yours too.
Maybe when you grow up a little bit and realise that you're not the centre of all. Maybe when you realise who your friends are and stop treating them like garbage. Maybe when you realise that the names on the screen are PEOPLE... and that some of us really did used to think you were a good person.
Used to. I opened my eyes about a year ago.
Here's hoping that others do the same too, before they wind up hurt by someone they THOUGHT was a friend.
---End Rant---
 Youkochylde · Mon Aug 22, 2005 @ 06:51pm · 0 Comments |
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Yep, I made one. Not sure what I'm going to use it for yet, though.
In news:
Finding homes for a bunch of RP intensive pets. Don't ask for them. If I think you'll be a good caretaker, I'll ask you.
Got a new Feien bloom! I can't wait to see what comes of it. When the guild finally stop ******** up.
Starting a new job Wednesday. Hence the weeding out of RP pets.
Trio Maxwell-Chang rocks. Just thought I'd note that.
Youkochylde · Mon Sep 27, 2004 @ 05:52pm · 1 Comments |
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