I have open my eyes to the new year, and so far it is not what i've planed. So far there is only suffering and pain. For my father may die in a year or not. I feel my eyes fill with tears, but I fight them back so people won't see. I have not seen him for almost 6 years, my grandmother wishes for me to forget the past and start a new. I find it hard to do so for i have lost my life as a young child with this man I call father. He would do nothing but hurt my mother and I with his words and terror, during when the night time sky is appone us. My grandmother does not understand my pain or feelings, for she wants everything to be her way. If not she would bring gilt to me and the others. She is not all bad thow, but only when she truly listins. I am slowly letting my father get to know the new me. I have told him about my step dad and family and how they have brought happiens into my life. I love him still, but I feel as if I should lie to myself and wonder why? Why would he do such things, and what has made him come back it to our lives? WHY?
