Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

It's been a while since I've came here to write but, you can't keep me away. My last entry was about summer I believe, and it never even got finished. But I don't plan on finishing it so whatever. So remember Alex? We made it to 2 months, heading for 3. Things are like a roller coaster with us. I'm sure I've said this before, but we have really good days and really bad days. Sometimes we just fight and fight. But the beautiful things is we always make up, we always say sorry, and we always keep pushing on. One thing I love about him is I can tell him anything. Whenever I get scared or jealous about something, I can always confront him, and that's something I've never been able to do with anyone really. It's a good feeling , and he never gets mad about it. He's always calm and gentle. There was one time I might have pushed him too far, and he lost his temper. It wasn't horrible, he didn't like freak out and call me a b***h or whatever, but he was defiantly irritated, that's for sure. But that was days ago, so it's old news.
Alex is over all the most perfect guy that I've ever dated. He's similar to me, but not a clone. We have differences and similarities. It makes things more interesting. Obviously he loves blink-182 like me, which is an amazing feeling to date a blink dude. He's very passionate and romantic when he wants to be, but he also has a goofy side. There's so many different sides to him, I feel like every time we talk I get to know him a little more. He makes me life more vivid, and exciting. He gives me something to look foward to every morning.
The scary part is that I have to anticipate a break up. It wouldn't come from my end, seeing as I can't go a minute with out thinking about him, but I could see why he would want to dump me someday. I'm pushy, clingy at times, awkward. I don't have the biggest boobs and I can't hold him. But I do love him, more than I could ever love anyone. If he left me I don't know how I would cope with not having him there. He's helped me through everything the past few months, whether he knows it or not, and I can't imagine not having him there to comfort me. I know it's bad but I have become dependent on this guy, he's my source of happiness, as dramatic as that sounds.
Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to look at a guy the same way I look at Alex. I wouldn't be able to feel the same way either. I don't notice cute boys around anymore because you know why? The only cute boy that exists at the moment lives in Vegas, 500 miles away.