Ihaven't sent it to her yet, i just needed a place to save it until then.
Mom
Don't skim over this, read it all the way through.
So, I’ve never been quite truthful with you, I’ve never wanted to tell you because one I wouldn't know how you would react and two I really didn't want to talk about it. I still don't want to talk about it mom, I can write about it but saying aloud; discussing it aloud...I can't. But I think it's time you know why I stopped going up to Marbury alone, and why ultimately I stopped going up there at all. I've only told Kyle, Jessica, Laura, Caleb, and Lynn. Don't get angry that I didn't tell you first, or even upset. Hell, it was hard for me to tell them, but it's helped me get where I can tell you. When I was between 13 and 15 maw maw took me over to the old house where he was staying because well I don't know why but she did, at the time I didn't really have a problem with it. I don't really remember much of the small stuff beforehand but somehow I was lying on top of dad. Okay, no big deal I’m just a little girl spending time with my daddy. I'm getting my back scratched awesomeness! Okay hands under my shirt scratching my back coolness; feels awesome! Then he undid my bra, a red flag kind went up but he reassured me that it was just so he could scratch my back better, okay that’s a good idea. Then back scratching turned into a back rub. Yet again, no big deal. Then his hands slide down to my butt. The bare skin of my butt. Under my pants and panties. And rubs my butt/grabs my butt while saying 'I used to do this to you as a baby.' Well, I'm not a baby anymore so what the ******** are you doing?! You know me mom, I didn't say a thing. I didn't say a thing cause I was scared shitless..... Well maybe not so much as scared as in shock, disbelief alright, I’ll stop shitting you I was scared, I couldn't believe what my daddy was doing to me. I knew it was wrong. While that was going down, he told me that he needs to take me to see one of his friends so his friend could 'teach me how to kiss.' Don't worry though, he told me, he's gay. Since when would a gay guy teach a little girl how to kiss?! Better yet since when would any father want their daughter to know how to kiss at all?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?! That's all I can remember from that day, there's nothing more, no more bad horrible stuff I promise. Anywho though, that's really why I had Jessica start going up there with me even though she didn't know it at the time. I only started talking about it to people this past year, well, start of the year. I was always afraid that something worse would happen you know. I’m sorry I’ve waited so long to tell you, but it's really so hopefully one way or another we can get Rachel permanently away from that sick b*****d. I don't want anything happening to her, but if something already has I don't want anything more happening to her. Don't call me about this or text me about it, please just don't mom. You can message me on facebook so I can take my time to reply though. I don't want to see a therapist or anything; I don't want to talk about it to anyone. I can write about it but that’s pretty much the extent about it. I don't want to hear about it from anyone. I love you mom.
Kayzee22 Community Member 
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