I am sad. I am busy and I am getting nothing done at this moment.
This semester stunk. So did the last one.
I am bright, just not wise. I don't leave enough time to study and when i did something comes up and I have to rush what needs to get done.
My worst problem is that I do not want to sacrifice sleep over what needs to get done. I get during the week days about five, if I am lucky seven, hours of sleep a week. I am feeling constantly tired and depressed and I hide it at work and around almost everyone. I know everyone knows that I am busy, yet I feel worthless. I will not do well this semester and I did nto do well last semster. I am sinking.
I know I work too much, but I can't stop. I have to save for life. I am realist. Money will not fall out of the air and I will not have money unless I work. Yet, working 25 or more hours a week is making me have issues doing all my homework.
I am in the middle of a tug-o-war match between school and work. I work to pay for school, but work keeps me from getting the grades I know I can achieve by taking away time.
I am in a glum mood. I have been not seeing my boyfriend because he takes away time from me, yet here I am taking thirty minutes away an writing assignment. I feel evil.
Not the sexy good evil, the I don't care for life and everything does not matter evil. I know I can do better, but I do not have time to prove it unless I kill myself trying. I killed a possium coming home from my boyfriends house at midnight. He had showed up at work and asked if I could come over. I can say 'no' over the phone, but not in person. So what was suppose to be an hour turned into two and a half hours. I had to work the next day in the morning and leave at nine am. I cried all the way home. The curve and a car in a distance. I was only going 34miles per hour, but was going to be speeding up to 45. It was just like a green glass bottle in the middle of the road that shown for a second green. Then boom it was. I wanted to turn left more and stop, but I did not know if anything was coing from the left. I panicked and it suffered. I cried. I hate thinking about it. I hate myself. My Dad said I get points. If I get ten points do I go to hell? I have gotten one red bird and a possium, do bugs count? I am being crude because I am sad. I am evil. I almost hit a possium before on the same road not even a mile before I murdered this one. It lived, I was doing the same thing, going under the speed limit and slowly speeding up. That possium was more right and not in the middle, I did not feel the thump and so did not hit it. It was just suppose to be a green glass bottle, not an eye. I want to delete this, but I don't want to forget it
Meep-pa Community Member 
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