My legs... wont stop shaking... and it really hurts right now... to be hearing these words... more painful than any physical wound that's been dealt to my body... And it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep from crying... at a time like this... i don't want to... I wont be able to... let go... He's special to me... and it's not like a friend... I know that for certain... It makes me sad... and so damn hard...to keep my body from trembling right now... I don't want it to end... dear god, no... I don't care if I'm hurt, if i cry, if something's wrong... just as long as we're together... this is really precious to me... He says he loves me... but I wish he wasn't so unsure about things... but now... I don't care if he's unsure... just as long as he's with me... I know what it is to love something... And I sure as hell wont find another guy to love me... and I don't WANT to... because I love him... like no other... I've loved other guys... but nothing's come close to THIS feeling... a feeling that makes me long for him... a feeling that tears at my heart when he says those words...a feeling that creates a pain in my heart... a pain that makes me smile... makes me squeeze myself, giggle to myself... a feeling that makes me want to talk to him... or call him, even when amongst friends of whom i adore... but not nearly as much as i love him... I have a strong affinity for him... and i don't care if I cry... I don't care if people see my tears... I have no reason to be strong... or keep any shred of ******** dignity... because it doesn't matter... nothing really matters... compared to him... and being with him... and I don't want to be selfish... it's wrong to be selfish... but i kept help but want him... oh hell... I feel really terrible right now... I'm a terrible person... it's impossible to be "just friends"... that's... too painful... I could never deny my feelings like that... I'm not that shallow of a person... and even if I'm hurt... or I cry... it doesn't matter... I'm willing to do anything... I'm willing to make any goddamn sacrifice... because the happiness I feel... with him... and the love... that I have for him... is something that I'm willing to die for... that I would give anything and everything for... I can't accept it... i Don't want to believe it... the mere thought of us breaking up... it hurts...I Love you, Devon.
 ExplosiveFunGirl · Fri Mar 30, 2007 @ 02:32am · 0 Comments |
