I…I hope you realize it took me an hour to read that. A ******** hour. Because I couldn’t stand thinking…you were going to be mad at me. And when I realized you weren’t…it was just…so much to take in, and…
Sometimes when you talk to me…or…in the case, write…it’s just…I can only stand so much emotion when I’m embarrassed. I’m sure…it’s that way for a lot of people, but all I know is…when I get upset, I run and hide. I run to you, or if it’s about you, I try to ignore it. I’m sorry. It’s really stupid, because I know you know how I feel, but I can’t help it.
….Man. I can’t believe you read it. I think I should be angry. Hmph. And yet, thanks…
I hate feeling vulnerable in front of you. Yeah. You’re the one person I can be vulnerable in front of, but I don’t like it. You’re my safe place; you always comfort me and yet it’s all about the respect. I don’t ever want you to lose your respect for me. You don’t see me as weak, but I do.
Thank you, Cid. For your respect, and your forgiveness. I never want to be a burden to you. It’s got to suck, being in love with an a*****e. Thank you for admitting you read my stuff, and thank you for taking the time to reply to it. I keep looking over what you wrote, and now the words aren’t so embarrassing. You’re really…sweet. Sorry I have such a hard time telling you that.
Hmm. I guess we did cause each other a fair amount of grief, but I agree that it was worth it. Like I said, I know I can always go to you when something’s wrong, and you’ll make things seem better. I know you’ll hold and protect me, and I hope you know that I’ll always do the same for you.
I didn’t give up everything for you; I traded my sucky life for something so much better. Like giving up a stupid bug and getting some super-awesome flying killer mammal back.
…I think I’ll stop with the metaphors. You knew what I meant anyway.
Thank you for forgiving me about the time I pushed things…I’m not very proud of that, as you can tell.
After all the nice things you’ve wrote to me, I don’t…think I can talk about the others. The regrets I mean. I promise I’ll talk to you about them sometime, if you…really want to know. I don’t mind sharing my fears and stuff with you, ‘long as you don’t.
…..you really didn’t like me sitting on your head, did you? Hahaha. I loved it. Being tall with absolutely no effort. Hehe. I know it was weird, though, so I don’t blame you.
((God’s interjection. See http://threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-03-19))
Sorry, the whole energy issue made me reread your first part about when we first met. That’s kinda how I feel, you know--being in your arms makes me realize how much you love me, and that love is enough to protect me, just like when I’m a chibi, you’re so much bigger than me, and I know you‘ll protect me. I know, er, think…you dislike it when I’m little, but I don’t mind it so much, aside from not being able to hold you back and help out. Oh, and yeah, don’t like the kids seein’ me like that, but anyway. My point is, whether I’m little or not, your love makes me feel safe.
Wow, that was a lot of rambling. I hope you get it.
Please don’t get me wrong about the others. They’re my friends too, but…you know I’m selfish. I want my family safe and secure and…I have no idea where that was going. I feel like they’re intruding. I’m sorry…you had to find that out through my writing. You’re right, I should have talked to you about that. But I figured, you’re the captain after all. Hehe.
Ah, I love taking care of you. Not that I hope you get sick, often, not at all. You’re so cute when you’re sick. Sometimes. An’ I love our room, so of course I’d take care of it. Thanks. I just don’t like feeling like I’m not doing enough. Don’t wanna be a burden.
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` Koryu `
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