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.. I know I'm not supposed to write useless crap, but I have to get this outa my head.
I had a fight with my parents, again.
If you don't know anything about my past, then you will probably not understand this the
way I want you to understand it.
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My parents keep complaining about everything, I am such a disaster.
They're ashamed of me, to start with. They’re ashamed of my look.
Everything I do is wrong. As long as I'm not myself, everything is quite okay.
As long as they're happy, nothing matters. They get their way.
They do not care about my opinion, even tho it is my life too. So selfish.
I am not allowed to see my friends. No, more like; I am not allowed to have friends.
As long as I am not happy, they are. As long as they are not happy, I am.
Things I say are lies, everything they say are laws or rules.
They do not trust me (anymore), I do not trust them (anymore). Because...
They do not know that people change, but they do. Including me.
They're always correct. If I do not think the same as they do, I am wrong.
Only if you're like them - You’re perfect. But nobody is perfect. Not 'even' they are.
I'm a bad daughter. They're perfect parents.
--- ---
"We're ashamed of being your parents. We feel like we have to apologize to the
people we meet cause of the way you look. We're ashamed of seeing you this way."
"The only thing you should be ashamed of is that you're such bad parents."
So bad that they care about the way their daughter look and so badly that they're
ashamed of it. They never listen to me and they care about my look so damned much
that they have forgotten who I am. I am not my outside, and they should not be
ashamed of letting their child be herself. Cause daring to do that and at the same
time be proud.
That is being a good parent.
I am sorry, but I am ashamed of being your child.
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And this is only truth. I HATE YOU, WITH MY WHOLE DAMNED SOUL. The more
they complain, the more I want to do the exact opposite of what they want me to
do.
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