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Wapanese

“Wapanese” are decidedly caucasian individuals who, by means of thoroughly warped postmodern acculturation processes, have come to the decision that it is in their best interest to act as if they were denizens of the nation of Japan. The term “wapanese” can be accurately though of as an analog to wigger. A whitey can be classified as a “Wapanese” if they are in possession of two or more of the following defining traits:


1. Has an unhealthy obsession with shallow, saccharine and intellectually insulting animation shows (also refered to as anime by the nerd elite) originally tailored for young Japanese children.

2. Operates under the erroneous belief that every aspect of American culture is vastly inferior to that of Japan’s – even though 99.9% of Wapanese have never had firsthand experience of any sort with their preferred culture (in other words, they’ve never set so much as one foot upon the island(s) of Japan).

3. Halfheartedly studies Japanese language and/or is a part-time practitioner of martial arts.

4. Has a sword (samurai swords only, of course) collection.

5. Is a Virgin.

6. May be afflicted with a terminal case of yellow fever; however, they constantly fail in their quest for Japanese pootytang.

7. Extreme cases may traipse around whilst wearing a “costume” that makes them resemble their favorite anime characters (this practice is reffered to as cosplay; cross-dressing and raging homosexuality is not an uncommon component of cosplay.


Interestingly, Wapanese are generally thought of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. Social scientists such as myself speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.

"Wapanese munch on imported Pocky and wash it down with a bottle of Pocari Sweat."

--Urban Dictionary