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I got it, heart my first flip phone ever. whee Here's an Ebay link to it. biggrin It's a Motorola t720, mint condition baby cool

I don't feel like playing with it now, I have to buy some stuff on Ragnarok first and foremost. I'm about to take a big leap into something and my mom is going to yell at me so much for it....but, even though I know I will be punished I feel in my heart its worth it. 3nodding

OMG! The stupid fckin post man left the box for the phone right inside the screen door. I'm thinkin like 'You fcking idiot!!!!' I live in the projects gonk You can't leave packages outside like that! You know how many fckin drugattics live here?!!? I'm surprised it was stull outside. gonk

The Sephy thing is getting better. whee I just...have to avoid chat of his perfect ( stare ....) dream girls who I could never compare to in a thousand years ( scream ). It was a cozy conversation...I felt ok, and happy-ish. whee

I'm craving peanut butter cookies xp Nice, chewy, homebaked goodness domokun heart Everytime I go to bake (or cook, for that matter stare ) they're no clean dishes...and I'll be damned if I'm cleaning those disgusting dishes!! My family is so dirt and fckin nasty I am counting down LITERALLY the days till I can get the fck out. I can't stand bad oders and uncleanliness...everything has to be perfect-ish when it comes to cleaning and making things look presentable. I won't settle for less...unless I'm being lazy xp Like now, for example. My room looks presentable...but its so dirty and icky i hate it.... crying

Alche...teh, not much of a word from him. sad He quit RO. We still talk on Gaia, though. I disbanded my guild on RO so I can focus on leveling now...guilds are alot of stress. sweatdrop

Right now....well, now on RO I just wanna be with Josh. redface Its like I crave being around him...everything feels so ok when I am. I can do anything, and I know I'd have him to fall back on. I can be goofy Courtney, or dumb-blonde Courtney, or intelligent Courtney, or depressed Courtney, or hyperactive Courtney...just anything, and he'd be right there for me no matter what. He hates boting on RO; I bet anyone he knows who wouldnt' ban a botter he doesn't associate with. A friend of mines bots, and he found out and confronted him. I begged him not to report my friend, and he eventually said he wouldnt'. He got mad at me, 'cause he thought I thought it was ok to bot since I didn't want my friend reported. He got mad, but he didnt' disassociate from me or anything like that. I bet if I was someone else he wouldnt' blocked my arse from chat...but he didn't. He like...really likes me. redface and I really like him, and I'm all happy and giddy about him. I have to find someway to repay him. 3nodding

My god its cold in my room...I'm freezing my a** off. gonk

Ha! In school there's alot of drama xd Someone in my school has an online journal on some teen site place, and they talk s**t abotu all the popular people in school and spread secretes and rumors and tell the personal buisness of my school's elite. whee No one knows who it is, though, and to me thats so funny! Its like they'res a ghost in my school watching all the bad things people do and spreading the truth online. Everyone thinks its a white girl (becase of the langauge used and the referances to cute boys since they'res only 2 openly gay boys in my school), and man...if they find out who it is that girl is going to get her a** kicked so bad. gonk I honestly think they'd kill her, they'd hunt her a** down and kill her. sweatdrop It makes me happy I dont' worry abotu school (socially wise) and rant abotu it here. 3nodding

I'm all touchy again, today. I just keep touching myself to make sure I'm still here. xd And um, for you friggin pervs out there I DON'T MEAN LIKE THAT~!!!!! I just am touchin my arms and legs and stuff just..jumpily~! blaugh

Slasher's being...well, I wish I knew a more gentle word, but he's being uber bitchy towards me. gonk I don't understand why, I haven't done anything wrong. I mean big deal I listed his Gaia name here, like anyone would actually give a fck and look him up. Its like he's paranoid or something stare Its not like I use his real name or his YIM or AIM name or even his FULL Gaia name, he's over reacting and that pissed me off this morning 'cause I was already in a bad mood. stare I know, I shouldn't have took it out on hium like that. See...

What made me mad, is I haven't talked to him in a very long time and then the first thing he says to me is not to use his name on Gaia. I'm like, "WTF?" he can't say hello to me or ask how I am via PM or anything but he can sure as hell get mad at me when I do something he doesn't like. sad Thats not fair and mean, I really expected more out of him. His message didn't even consist of a hello or a goodbye. Just not to say his name again and not to log out on YIM like I do. stare

Most of the time, Slasher is really cool and thats why I like being his friend. He gets in this...just....moods, where every little thing I do bothers him. Like one time he was mad or something and I said "Don't worry, its all gewd cool ", and he just got so damn ignorant to me. He nagged me not to use 'gewd' 'cause its not a word or something. stare He gets mad when I say 'ish' too.

I don't like that. I really, really don't. Its not like he asks me when he's all calm and cool, he waits till he's pissed off and then yells at me not to do things. Just like my fckin good for nothing mom, and I really don't want to be talking to him-have him act like her-and then have to reflect later on how they're behavior is alike. Not only is he reminding me of that woman, but when he does that he's acting like all her drugged/drunken, women beating, good for nothin boyfriends too. Like that white guy my mom dated (she dates all black guys...), no man is ever going to tell me what to do. I am my own woman and whenever any guy tells me what I will and won't do ESPECIALLLY when he's upset with me I just can't do it. I mean, I've seen my moms pride stripped away from her so many times by doing what some man tells her to do. And every man she listend to has gotten her into deepr s**t than she's already in. I'm not havin that shiz. I won't live as my mom has and let anyone tell me stuff like that.

I mean, if Slasher didnt' seem upset with me I wouldn't have cared. I woulda been like 'Ok whee ' and stopped or fixed whatever I did that he didn't like 'cause I enjoy keeping people I care about happy. He just seems so mad at me over the stupidest stuff sometiems...

So whta to do? Those rare occasions we do get to talk I value so damn much more than he could ever understand...I don't (and won't) want to stop being his friend. I just...wish he wouldn't get so short with me sometimes. sad

Eck, my back hurts. gonk BBL