Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put mascara on with their mouths closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes...
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro", is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that
would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down." (guess that's a no on the dessert)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(oh, I was under the impression that it would be cold)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those pesky
5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking
this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts." (it must have taken a genius to write this one)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere
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Cyane's Random Complaints and Stuffs.
Anything comes in and out of my mind. ^^
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samurai of the gods Community Member 
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