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I finished my colon cancer project last night and turned it in today. Apparently, I went "above and beyond and raised the bar for everyone" as far as service learning projects for the Health Services office is concerned. I am quite proud of myself for that. They were quite surprised by my presention, which makes me feel accomplished. It's such a warm and fuzzy feeling. I like it. heart

However, I learned today that my American Sign Language teacher from my first semester at AACC has been diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and has been given only a month to live. She was such a wonderful teacher. She helped to rekindle the spark that my third and fifth grade teacher instilled inside me. She reinspired me to become a teacher. She was the kind of teacher who didn't even have to know your name for you to know that she truely cared for you as not only a student, but as a person. But this fight will be extra difficult, since she is deaf, causing her to be cut off from people. I can only hope and pray that she will overcome this. I am not a religious person and therefore rarely ever pray. But for her, I will pray as long as I am conscious.

It's strange to be so torn between two extremes in feelings. I want to be really happy, but at the same time, I can't help the feeling of wanting to cry for my teacher. I feel as if I'm in Limbo, floating in the middle of nowhere with everything happening around me. And I hate it. I can't stand this feeling. I would much rather be extremely depressed then feel like this. What's worse is that I can't even do anything about it. I want to be able to do something and I can't. I hate being so helpless. I just wish there was something I could do.