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Hopless optimism covered by a layer of sacrasm can only work for so long. People think I have no hope for anything good in my life, in fact I have a lot of hope. I just hate seeing it burn up every time. I've accepted it, I'm going to be alone for a very long time. Sometimes I even wonder whats the use, who needs a shoulder to cry on? I've gotten this far without anyone caring for me, so why would I need it in the future. I hate having the need to be loved by someone. Its always nice having someone that will hold onto you and tell you that you're a wonderful individual. I thought I had that, but no I struck out so many times I've lost count. Lately I've been getting several people telling me I'm such a beautiful person, and yet no one wants me. Its awfully confusing to have such wonderful things said to your face, yet the person who is saying them does not want you as the words imply. Yeah, "be strong" , "be patient". Its really hard to keep repeating those mantras for almost two bloody years. You sit there and wonder if there is anything wrong. I know for a fact that there is nothing wrong with me. In fact I've changed in so many positive ways over the years that its ridiculous to think that there is something wrong. Maybe I'm too forward, or too confident sometimes, who knows. Obviously right now those qualities are not active. It just bothers me to see people treat dating like its a walk in the park. Maybe it is for them, but its damn near impossible for me. It just sucks. Sucks hard. I just have to keep telling myself that if I make my own dreams come true, I don't need anyone by my side. (Well, the wishes that do not include love obviously) Man, I need another beer.

Posted by: ShaIIow Fri Nov 17, 2006 @ 06:42am

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Angel387
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Commented on: Fri Nov 17, 2006 @ 10:48pm


	Some people have to have a man. I had a friend who dated every cute face that walked into her life and they never ended good. Other people look to hard for one. I know I asked my boyfriend and he says some guys like the hard to get woman. Being single for awhile isn't bad. I mean think of all the great things you can have without having a relationship that is just a fullfillment of a desire to be held or loved. Sometimes relationships that are formed for just a hole need ends up not working out or not satisfying. I was alone for a long time until Jacob came into my life. I just needed to wait. Even though I'm real impatient. You'll always have friends that care even if you don't have a man yet. hugs

Commented on: Sat Nov 18, 2006 @ 01:12am


	Yarr. I don't want to be like some people I know who only use a man to fill their universe.

ShaIIow
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Angel387
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Commented on: Sun Nov 19, 2006 @ 04:11am


	Good for you. hugs I agree.

Commented on: Wed Nov 22, 2006 @ 04:30am


	I honestly don't think it's your looks getting in the way of finding a man........are you sure your looking in the right places? At least you are respectable, seeing as you don't go F&$%^G every guy you meet like a certain B&$% we both used to know.

Decreptore
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