Quote:
You all know how horrible I am with caffiene... well I just downed three Mt. Dews in about twenty minutes, so don't expect any sanity here.
Things that amuse me:
1. Flies sit on the screen of your monitor, staring at you with their beaty eyes and encouraging you to swing at them when you know how dumb it is because either A) they'll fly away and you'll end up smacking your monitor or B) you hit them and leave disgusting bug guts all over the screen. Either way, swinging just isn't worth it.
2. My father still glares over the top of his glasses to read the newspaper even though he has bifocals. Old habbits die hard.
3. I stopped my run yesterday just because I saw a library book on the river path and ended up carrying it for the remainder of my run so I could return on my way back through town. I'm such a nerd.
4. People eat twice as much low fat ice cream than they do the all natural stuff. Same with diet sodas. Isn't funny how something that's not supposed to be as bad for you makes you want even more?
5. You never really know what you've got till it's gone... but I guess it's so cliche that it's amusing.
6. This quote: "The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about the person." -P.J. O'Rourke (taken from my SAT review book, ain't it great?)
7. Bumper stickers <3
8. The more you say something will never get old, the more you hate it when it does. Like my affliction with Zoolander... guess what, it got old.
9. Spastic temperatures in the school. How are we ever supposed to know how to dress when half the school is boiling and the other half is an icebox?
10. When I was twelve my favorite color was the color of the mold that Kraft singles get after you unwrap them and set them in your bathroom. I was a sick kid, but god just the thought of it amuses me.
11. The more time you have to accomplish something the less likely you are to start on it immediately.
12. Some of the best horror movies are the most predictable. Grudge II looks like it's gonna suck.
13. All xc season long, I've made sure I've eaten well before a meet and have plenty of fluids in me. However, when we were at Danville last Thursday, I was starving so I had a hand full of salty pretzels right before running... my mouth was dry and I still have food in my teeth after the second mile. Yet somehow, I did the best I've ever raced...
14. Even when you're a very literate and outspoken person, you can't find the right words to say around your crush.
15. My doctor is fat, my dentist smokes, and my eye doctor is nearly blind.
16. Whenever you say, "It makes me giggle," Bridget giggles. Which, in turn, makes me giggle.
17. The word 'worble' isn't in my dictionary. Neither are haw (a classic interjection), scuttle (what you do to your boat when pirates are chasing you), discombobulated (not sure what it means, but I've heard it a million times), lyke (Lyke oh-em-gee!), purposeful (the act of being full of purpose), waawaa (the sound two out of tune instruments make when they play together), pornography (duh!), and hrmph (it's used in classic literature for god's sake).
18. People in my house wash their sneakers more often than their bedsheets.
19. When walking the roads of Hokkaido, Japan, the litter you find the most of is discarded casset tapes.
20. I'm the only one I know who still uses a walkman casset player. It's so retro, I swear it'll come back.
21. My cousin and I once spent an entire weekend trying to find pictures of our president (who google's himself!) in which he did not look like a total moron. Needless to say, we never found one, but I did save the amusing one... and today I found that folder. It's priceless.
22. CSS= cascading style sheets (the code in which profile edits are made). But, CSS also ='s my friend Curt going to San Salvador. Don't ask.
23. Six years ago I was an inch taller and weighed about 40 more pounds than I do now.
24. My father swears he wasn't a geek in highschool, yet he was the equiptment manager for the basket ball and foot ball teams, aspired to be a computer major only fifteen years after the birth of the computer hard driver, and was extremely active in his highschool radio club. GEEK!
25. People always tell you that starving yourself is no way to lose weight. However, the healthy snack bars they propose are five times as expensive as a Snicker's bar and a quarter the size. So basically, starve yourself instead of munching a Snickers.
26. My brother thought that my folder on this computer labled "Music to slit your wrists to," was a folder of porn.
27. I have a great-uncle named Manly Blackman. What a name!
28. My dad called himself sexy today... which I guess was more scarey, pathetic, and mortifying than amusing, but w.e.
29. I have male friends who always yell at me for not talking to them, but then when I sign on line or answer their calls, they don't say much. Honestly.... if you aren't going to talk, wtf am I supposed to do.
30. Some of the most beautiful people I know, are sweethearts. Some of the ugliest, are the bitches... Maybe beauty actually is more than skin deep? Or maybe because the people are sweethearts, they just appear more beautiful. I don't know... either way, it amuses me.
31. Every prep wannabe comes to their senses by highschool.
32. All the left handed people I know, are also the smartest and most accomplished.
33. My sister randomly feeds me ice cream.
34. Donnie came up to Daniel and Kasidy at a foot ball game and asked about their hair cuts (the hypocrite). And Dan replies, "You don't look like Jesus, we don't look like Jesus." It makes me laugh even now.
35. The rubber door stops in my uncle's yuppie house make this really cool noise when you flick them with your elbow.
36. The songs everyone loves from Fall Out Boy are the ones that you can't tell what they're saying...
37. If the good only die young, then why is it that good things come to those who wait?
38. The world's most emo people come in the strangest packages, which is why finding people who are like myself is so hard to do.
39. Charlotte Church became a Jewel wannabe. Hilary Duff became an Avril wannabe. Lindsay Lohan became a Paris Hilton wannabe... and no one batted an eye. Yet, when I slip so much as a "s**t" out of my mouth, people gasp and gape... proclaiming that I can't possibly be a "bad girl."
40. Gabby knew exactly what porn and strippers meant when I decided to be kinky at the lunch table.
41. Posers who think they can get a good high from permenate markers.
42. My Aunt still calls me Alisha Janes even though people stopped calling me that when I was twelve.
43. Men's gym shorts are so much more comfortable than the s**t they make for females... which is why I like to wear my brother's shorts.
44. College newspapers talk about the real issues, "Campus ghost cause of power outage?" "Ten Greatest, 'Bush's mom' jokes," and my favorite "Cancer club raises money at local bar."
And 45... no matter what mood I'm in, I'm always amusable even when it's soaked in sarcasm.
xD
Things that amuse me:
1. Flies sit on the screen of your monitor, staring at you with their beaty eyes and encouraging you to swing at them when you know how dumb it is because either A) they'll fly away and you'll end up smacking your monitor or B) you hit them and leave disgusting bug guts all over the screen. Either way, swinging just isn't worth it.
2. My father still glares over the top of his glasses to read the newspaper even though he has bifocals. Old habbits die hard.
3. I stopped my run yesterday just because I saw a library book on the river path and ended up carrying it for the remainder of my run so I could return on my way back through town. I'm such a nerd.
4. People eat twice as much low fat ice cream than they do the all natural stuff. Same with diet sodas. Isn't funny how something that's not supposed to be as bad for you makes you want even more?
5. You never really know what you've got till it's gone... but I guess it's so cliche that it's amusing.
6. This quote: "The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about the person." -P.J. O'Rourke (taken from my SAT review book, ain't it great?)
7. Bumper stickers <3
8. The more you say something will never get old, the more you hate it when it does. Like my affliction with Zoolander... guess what, it got old.
9. Spastic temperatures in the school. How are we ever supposed to know how to dress when half the school is boiling and the other half is an icebox?
10. When I was twelve my favorite color was the color of the mold that Kraft singles get after you unwrap them and set them in your bathroom. I was a sick kid, but god just the thought of it amuses me.
11. The more time you have to accomplish something the less likely you are to start on it immediately.
12. Some of the best horror movies are the most predictable. Grudge II looks like it's gonna suck.
13. All xc season long, I've made sure I've eaten well before a meet and have plenty of fluids in me. However, when we were at Danville last Thursday, I was starving so I had a hand full of salty pretzels right before running... my mouth was dry and I still have food in my teeth after the second mile. Yet somehow, I did the best I've ever raced...
14. Even when you're a very literate and outspoken person, you can't find the right words to say around your crush.
15. My doctor is fat, my dentist smokes, and my eye doctor is nearly blind.
16. Whenever you say, "It makes me giggle," Bridget giggles. Which, in turn, makes me giggle.
17. The word 'worble' isn't in my dictionary. Neither are haw (a classic interjection), scuttle (what you do to your boat when pirates are chasing you), discombobulated (not sure what it means, but I've heard it a million times), lyke (Lyke oh-em-gee!), purposeful (the act of being full of purpose), waawaa (the sound two out of tune instruments make when they play together), pornography (duh!), and hrmph (it's used in classic literature for god's sake).
18. People in my house wash their sneakers more often than their bedsheets.
19. When walking the roads of Hokkaido, Japan, the litter you find the most of is discarded casset tapes.
20. I'm the only one I know who still uses a walkman casset player. It's so retro, I swear it'll come back.
21. My cousin and I once spent an entire weekend trying to find pictures of our president (who google's himself!) in which he did not look like a total moron. Needless to say, we never found one, but I did save the amusing one... and today I found that folder. It's priceless.
22. CSS= cascading style sheets (the code in which profile edits are made). But, CSS also ='s my friend Curt going to San Salvador. Don't ask.
23. Six years ago I was an inch taller and weighed about 40 more pounds than I do now.
24. My father swears he wasn't a geek in highschool, yet he was the equiptment manager for the basket ball and foot ball teams, aspired to be a computer major only fifteen years after the birth of the computer hard driver, and was extremely active in his highschool radio club. GEEK!
25. People always tell you that starving yourself is no way to lose weight. However, the healthy snack bars they propose are five times as expensive as a Snicker's bar and a quarter the size. So basically, starve yourself instead of munching a Snickers.
26. My brother thought that my folder on this computer labled "Music to slit your wrists to," was a folder of porn.
27. I have a great-uncle named Manly Blackman. What a name!
28. My dad called himself sexy today... which I guess was more scarey, pathetic, and mortifying than amusing, but w.e.
29. I have male friends who always yell at me for not talking to them, but then when I sign on line or answer their calls, they don't say much. Honestly.... if you aren't going to talk, wtf am I supposed to do.
30. Some of the most beautiful people I know, are sweethearts. Some of the ugliest, are the bitches... Maybe beauty actually is more than skin deep? Or maybe because the people are sweethearts, they just appear more beautiful. I don't know... either way, it amuses me.
31. Every prep wannabe comes to their senses by highschool.
32. All the left handed people I know, are also the smartest and most accomplished.
33. My sister randomly feeds me ice cream.
34. Donnie came up to Daniel and Kasidy at a foot ball game and asked about their hair cuts (the hypocrite). And Dan replies, "You don't look like Jesus, we don't look like Jesus." It makes me laugh even now.
35. The rubber door stops in my uncle's yuppie house make this really cool noise when you flick them with your elbow.
36. The songs everyone loves from Fall Out Boy are the ones that you can't tell what they're saying...
37. If the good only die young, then why is it that good things come to those who wait?
38. The world's most emo people come in the strangest packages, which is why finding people who are like myself is so hard to do.
39. Charlotte Church became a Jewel wannabe. Hilary Duff became an Avril wannabe. Lindsay Lohan became a Paris Hilton wannabe... and no one batted an eye. Yet, when I slip so much as a "s**t" out of my mouth, people gasp and gape... proclaiming that I can't possibly be a "bad girl."
40. Gabby knew exactly what porn and strippers meant when I decided to be kinky at the lunch table.
41. Posers who think they can get a good high from permenate markers.
42. My Aunt still calls me Alisha Janes even though people stopped calling me that when I was twelve.
43. Men's gym shorts are so much more comfortable than the s**t they make for females... which is why I like to wear my brother's shorts.
44. College newspapers talk about the real issues, "Campus ghost cause of power outage?" "Ten Greatest, 'Bush's mom' jokes," and my favorite "Cancer club raises money at local bar."
And 45... no matter what mood I'm in, I'm always amusable even when it's soaked in sarcasm.
xD
Sorry for those of you who are seeing this twice... but I really need to sort out my thoughts before I relate what's currently going on in my shitty life.
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