I miss everyone.. I'm so lonley today... so very lonely...
alot of ppl went to the home coming so I'm stuck home without even ppl online! BLAH!
that and I've got to worrieing about ppl I shouldnt aswell as worrieing about Ryan... Cause I cant help him.. and the way I do... it sickens me that the only way I can make him happy is with that.. and.. *Sighs* thats why I am who I am.. so low to earth and boggy clothes so no one would think of that and I would be able to do things better then those other girls... but... I cant... I just like them... I sit now at my computer wining about this and feel guilty that I whine because I know so many people have their lives worse off....
I hope Rob is ok... its weird I havent thoughtof him much ... then Bam! cant stop.. I just realy hope he's alright and that somehow those who he loves and love him dont come here and b***h me out.. *sighs* its horrible that I hurt him.. I dont like hurting ppl... and yet.. I keep on doing it... *sighs* I hate me ... my mom is right.. I'm a horrible person.. I hurt Rob I hurt Mike and I cant make Ryan happy... *pouts* I need something to make me forget about this.. I wish I wasnt so against drugs! Grr my morals!
I need to sleep.. that way I dont need to be thinking.. *sigh* but I already tried that...
well good bye.. I hope your lives are much less confusing.... good bye...
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