i don't love myself
gross
ugly
horrible
not worthy of love
hope has never saved me. and why should it? my parents don't care one bit
"oh you're fine. it'll go away."
is all i hear.
damn them
damn them all
damn the world
closing in on me like a dark blanket, a shadow, never to escape
but you come.
you come like a beakon of light. your love radiates from you. i wish to swallow you whole so that i may shine so bright. your love, oh how sweet. so much i can take and more. i wish to have you. no one to share you with. but your light calls others. others i must share you with. why can't i be the only one? do i have to share? i wish the answer was no, but now i think the light is leaving. putting me back into the darkness, doomed forever, crying blood from my arms and eyes.
he leaves.
leaves to another place. not to be seen again. oh how i hope and pray that he returns. i wish to tell my light, my savior, that i
love
him