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My Journal... alot of random stuff will be written here. Be prepared. I'm still trying to figure out all the settings, so I'll post again soon...
Fiction 1





GilAskan
Community Member
GilAskan
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  • 01/09/05 to 01/02/05 (1)

  • User Comments: [7] [add]
    Teardrop Lobo
    Community Member
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    commentCommented on: Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 12:28am
    NICE OPENING, HON.

    ^-^

    You've got a sort of... cinematic style, it's hard to explain. Definitely different... heart I like it a lot, actually. Good job!


    commentCommented on: Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 12:28am
    your talent makes me a Sad and Proud Panda. Yessiree. Bio is gonna be DOOM. I think I'll die. ;o; Much love! Aoi



    Hannahbelle Anastasia
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    Demond Piaculum
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    commentCommented on: Sat Sep 17, 2005 @ 07:38pm
    Hey I like it. Good intro and voice in your writting. I wonder...


    commentCommented on: Sun Apr 02, 2006 @ 12:29am
    very nice! you are a great writer, you don't overwhelm the story with details or are too brief, i also like the fact that you can really see the character's personality n his feelings through your writing. Keep up the good work!^^



    temluv
    Community Member
    -Resurrected Writer-
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    commentCommented on: Sun Feb 18, 2007 @ 07:32am
    Quite good, quite good... though as a fellow writer I think this section would be a bit of a better area to start:

    It still is a dream to me. I barely remember what happened, or how I awoke. I cannot remember actually being there, actually existing there. All I remember was that I could think for myself. I had the choice to run.
    So I ran. I swam through the giant gates. I went higher and higher. I saw the light. I burst through the cobalt water, icy with winter�s breath still clinging wherever it could. I saw for the first time beauty. I saw the rolling waves, and wispy pearl colored clouds.
    I was awake, for the very first time.

    And then from there, you could incorporate the main character's knowledge of the "Crei" and the like... but this is just a suggestion. Choose your structure as you wish. 3nodding


    commentCommented on: Sat Apr 21, 2007 @ 01:28pm
    sweetness i like dark stories



    Criayas Doll
    Community Member
    lil~Chinami
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    commentCommented on: Tue May 29, 2007 @ 04:59am
    Brilliant dark imagery. "brilliant dark"...is that an oxymoron?


    User Comments: [7] [add]
     
     
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