So Erin can't come to Thunder Bay. I saw it coming, but I still hoped anyhow. I think it's better to hope a little, to have some positivity, otherwise you have a dull existance with no ups or downs, which I don't even think I'm capable.
I'm upset, but I'm numbly, dully upset. I kind of want to cry but I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I'm going to. I might once I shower.
I knew this would happen. I mean, the kid who was going to drive her has a court date and JUST got his G2. It seemed insane. She doesn't have the money to pay for a greyhound that far; neither do I. His parents won't let him go buy a plane ticket, and I guess I understand. I mean, if I was parenting him, I wouldn't let him get ******** all - I mean, you go to court and you get put on probation...I'm sort of glad in a way, because he didn't seem like the safest driver.
I just hope she didn't hope too high. It seemed like she was so set on it, but she knew, we BOTH knew it wasn't definite. And I wish I could have had some sort of liason with his parents and figure out what was REALLY going on. I have a feeling I'm missing a lot, and it bugs me.
I need to pack for moving out anyhow. And I'm better off going to visit her once I have money, and I'm in Toronto and it'll be only a 6-8 hour ride, instead of her going 23 on the road.
My internet keeps on cutting in and out.
I found myself getting just...so irritated with Erin, and I don't even know why. Probably because plans were poorly made at best and then dashed, and it was like...stop putting it in your damn msn name that you're coming to see me when it's so bloody obvious that things aren't set in stone and that it's likely it won't happen. Stop taunting me.
At any rate, Erin, if you read this, I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset and having a moment.
I need to have moments. I think they make me sane.
I need to check my e-mail and see if I can make sense of my ******** up university s**t.
 Renee the Rabid Squirrel · Thu Aug 10, 2006 @ 07:08pm · 0 Comments |
