I went to a convention I use to go to yearly, for the first time in over 5 years. The con will still about the same size and it was hot as hell outside...
I met up with a random person through FaceBook to go to the con with. It was fun despite meeting a new person, which typically leads me to MAJOR anxiety. It did make me go borderline panic mode the night before, but my old friend helped me get through it.
I went to the Con for the first day on the 23rd of June 2023, and all was well until I saw an old highschooler friend from 2010, who I recently broke away from, because their passive, distant take on our friendship worn me thing and eventually I spoke up about it. I have her a choice to start putting in more effort to be forward, but her answer was, "That gives me to much anxiety." so I told her to get the help she needs and "moved on". Clearly I'm not moved on because seeing her at the con filled me with rage to the point it triggered my already anxious mind, from being in a crowded area, to go full ******** mode, so I had to leave, and I left FAST. Sadly, leaving the person I was with behind.
I still feel bad an said sorry to the person I went with, luckily they went with their Boy Friend as well, so he was not totally left alone. Thank God.
But other then those issues above, I found the convention, like many things now-a-days, was very LGBT+ forward. A community who has not treated me well and has left me with a very terrible taste in my mouth. ( more details in the future maybe about that. )
I started to realize, events like this is not somewhere I feel welcomed any more. It's no longer a convention of Anime, Games, etc. It has leaked in propaganda with flags of every kind all over, and panel section or events you go to, talking about, "They them Pronouns" and how to use them. Something I do not have a kind opinion of. As well as "13+ Cosplay Dating" which, Me, my friends, and my Father think is VERY ******** weird. As well as other things, that are just ... odd and very concerning to me. So the event now feels more like a LGBT+ convention where you CAN cosplay. The focus has shifted with the current times.
I will likely no longer attend this convention in the future, which makes me sad because I really wanted to explore my fursuit head and paws some more, but I just don't feel comfortable there. I think as I got older, although I am also a social reject in ways, I still hold my self as a socially acceptable person. I never go outside looking or wearing outlandish stuff, mostly just black and keep my self clean and presentable, but most of the people at these cons seem to be the opposite now. There were a lot of amazing cosplays but ... I just don't think I fit in any more with these scenes.
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I Like Telling People What To Do.
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