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Bitter pill is the life that while it exists looks for a purpose it knows not yet.

That purpose hidden or obscured behind the eyes of every passerby a thought that would in essence give insight to maddening memories,

Memories that through irony or no lesser means have plagued my mind? How I send I throw love from my mind, I give it away, but within anger fights to overtake when that love is in its dregs an final ounces.

How does it balance so? How would anger within turn without but I hold it within so it cannot touch those I care for an love in the world?

Even that cold HELL that is the love I feel for my Father? Though I do feel something but neither here nor there in-between begrudging good will an firey hate that makes me as much loathsome a monster as he is to me , I cannot fully damn him to hell for I have to somehow forgive him but let pass the barbs of fury an words.