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Dear Witness,

I am sorry you had to see me today. To see the state that I so frequently visit must be as tedious for you as it is for me.

Dear Witness,

I am sorry that I never do anything about myself. I am sorry that I let myself get to me. I can't use you as a shield. Or perhaps I could, but I will never allow myself to use you like that.

Dear Witness,

I care for you more than I care for myself. You may find this hard to believe, but it isn't at all unbelievable when you're me. You wouldn't care for me either if you were me.

Dear Witness,

You didn't actually see me today, but I wish you did. To understand my pain and perhaps offer me a pill to numb my aching hands, my aching heart.

Or, perhaps, to give me a hug. I wished for a hug today.

Dear Witness,

I know you want me to confide in you. Everybody, myself included, wants to feel useful, but I don't want you to know that I become like this despite you in my life.

Dear Witness,

I wish I could make you happy. It is so much easier to be a mirror and reflect the joy of another than to generate my own joy.

And I don't particularly deserve any more than I am.

Dear Witness,

The Shadow is forever.

Sincerely, me.