Is it real or not? I always read about it in those Romeo and Juliet knock-off romance novels, wanting it to happen to me so badly.
Then it did.
At first, I was so happy. For the first time in my life, someone actually liked me back. They had agreed to go to Homecoming with me. But I had no idea what I was getting into. I felt very strange..... happy all the time...... This person treated me so different..... He gave me mushy letters, hugged me, kissed me, and said "I love you" to me. This was the first male to say this to me besides a family member EVER. All this weird new stuff was happening to me, and all I could think was, "What the hell is going on?"
Even though it felt so strange, I went along with it. Maybe it'd be fun. So I hugged back, kissed back, and said, "I love you" back.
But then, those god dammed tables just turned right around again. The hugging was to much, the kissing was too much, the mushy letters, instead of making me want to cry with happiness, made me want to hurl. Now, saying "I love you" just didn't fell right. I was always with him. I felt like I couldn't get away. Everything in my life was revolving around him, and I didn't like it anymore. I felt like I was married or something. I'm 14, and a freshman in high school, but my life seemed to be hurtling along like the Flight of Fear at Kings Island. And all I could think was "NOW what the Hell is going on?"
I didn't know what to do, so I just didn't act like I was in love anymore. My friends said it was obvious I didn't like him as much as I said, and I felt bad, but why didn't he notice? He didn't seem to change a bit.
I had to tell him. When I did, I felt horrible. One friend described it as, "ripping his heart out and stomping it into a million peices". (Gee, thanks, Josh)
But WHY?! Why did he love me so much? Those romance novels always had the characters fall in love at an extremely young age, and overcome every obstacle, and be in love for the rest of their lives. But those were fictional, fake, made-up stories that are supposed to end perfectly, happily ever after, and all that mushy, stupid, predictable crap. This is real life. That type of stuff just doesn't happen. There's no "true love". There's no "happily ever after". There's no "perfect".
If you fall in love in high school, or even younger, I think you're too young. I want to be a kid longer. It was so much fun. No worries. I think it was he who even quoted at one point "'Youth is wasted on the young'". This is certainly true.
And with that, I must end my exceedingly long journal entry. Thanks for reading. I hope it meant something and wasn't just a teen's confused rambling. Also, I'd like to apologize to "him", on Gaia as "Sanjuro_Sakakida-san". I don't dislike you, infact I like you a lot, but I can't love anyone... yet. This love thing..... I can't live with it. Not this early in life.
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Neko Kafweenu's Scroll
So here's my journal..... thing..... I'll probably just write about random stuff that I happen to be thinking about.....
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