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I do apologize but it is hard to explain this to everyone, especially to you Sweet Lady who is one of my Most Amazing and Special Friends & Gaia Family and all of you who I consider close to me.

I deal with bad Anxiety & Paranoia sometimes, it is even worse than the Depression often.

When I say Anxiety & Paranoia I dont mean just little things like worries or thinking I may have forgotten something small, I mean full on "THEY ARE GOING TO COME AND TAKE ME AWAY" stuff like constant heart-beating in my chest Paranoia like after you have ran a mile and are out of shape as I am. gonk gonk gonk

And Anxiety of the kind which makes me so worried Ill do wrong I mess myself up, cause myself pain and injury doing things which would be normal and common for anyone but for me if Im having "High Anxiety Episodes" I could be hammering a nail and hit myself in the face with the hammer because I took to long of a swing, or try to hit the nail and hit the board and it hit me and hurt me. sweatdrop gonk

Even to being so introverted and shy because Im adraid Ill do something wrong that I say "SORRY" every word endlessly and I cannot stop when Im having one of those times.

I only ask that you bear with me as when Im in one of these states it hurts me more to hurt anyone than myself and Id rather hurt me than any of you because I Love ALL OF YOU, and dont want to ever hurt any of you, sweatdrop

I promise another part to my Journal Story soon as well, 3nodding

Please send me best wishes and kind thoughts, prayers are accepted, ~Giesta