According to my mother, when my grandmother knows a secret the entire family knows not long after. She claims that the entire family already knows what happened to me but as I've been approaching people, I don't find that to be true. When I bring it up, she persists in her pessimistic ways, infecting me. I try so hard to be hopeful and go about this in a way that makes me comfortable but she's not helping. It is difficult to block her out, especially since I value her opinion and hearsay so much.
This last weekend was the wedding of my cousin Kelly to Karri. A "K&K" wedding. Haha, no. Their wedding was beautiful but not my cup of tea. I would have had a lot more fun if I didn't get this impossible migraine that made me nauseous as the night went on. I took a long walk with my cousin Neil, whom I rarely see. We talked about all sorts of things and I also had a long talk with his Dad Steve, whom I see even less. My relatives mean the world to me and I really want to welcome them to be my friends and be involved in my life. I want to make a change and talking to each of them helps. I talked even more personally to Adam. I felt bad for burdening him on a day like a wedding but there aren't many other chances and the sooner the better generally.
I need to write a letter to Jake AND SEND IT. Lawlz.
Some days I feel overwhelmed by how fast I am expanding my social world. It feels like it has magnified tenfold already and there are many more people I mean to connect to.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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